Mission Log of the Diabolical Baby Brigade

 As Logged By:  Agent Chase AND The Puppy    This diabolical mastermind is tired. But someone else is completely wired! Barking, barking till it's dawn. All I can do, then, is yawn.   So tired and needing sleep. Please, nothing make a peep.  Barking, barking!  Will it end? Barking, barking.  Here's a friend!     "Well, someone's a little grumpy grump today," Mommy giggles after looking my way.  "What's the matter, Chase?  Having trouble sleeping at might?"   Having trouble sleeping?   Having trouble sleeping!?!?!?!?   You must be joking!    This diabolical mastermind has done anything, BUT sleep.  All I want is a nice, long nap.  One at night, where I can snooze for hours and hours.   However, a certain fiend has declared war on me.   YES!   The Puppy is back and that canine is destroying my sleep.   How many nights has it been?  I don't know, I'm so tired that I'...

 As Logged By: Agent West    Mommy's been too collected, That needs to be corrected. What's a trick that'll confuse her And send her running in a blur?   Am I standing, am I not? Mommy's gone crazy with fraught. Will she convince Daddy Or start screaming madly?    Bored!  Bored!  Bored!   Look at Mommy over there.  In the kitchen, cooking with flare.  She seems so collected and here this diabolical dude is bored out of his wits end.   If only I could do something truly diabolical.  If only I could correct her collected state.   I need to take a diabolical stand!  I need to...   Wait a minute.   What was that?   I need to take a diabolical stand?   Hmhmm...   Can I do it?  Can I get my rump up enough to straighten myself and stand?   One foot down, then the other.  I pull up enough to a crouch.  I take a breath and one more.  I get that rump up, then heave!  H...

 As Logged By:  Agent Rose    A cardboard box just my size Over the carpet, it flies! Zoom, zoom here and there Zooming around everywhere!   Daddy is getting tired, But I'm completely wired. I'll make sure he never stops Not until he finally drops!     AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!   I scream and scream, but keep it all inside.  I've got my eyes open wide while Daddy takes me for a daredevil ride!   Around the corner and through the kitchen, almost tripping Mommy as she's baking and mixing.  Back onto the carpet, I zoom in the cardboard box.  The one Daddy's pushing just like a race car.    "Uh oh," Daddy says when we come to a wall.  He pants and puffs and puts his hands on his hips.  "Looks like we've hit a dead end."   A dead end?  What does that mean?   Don't you dare tell me that this race car ride is over!   This cutie is having way too much fun zooming and zooming all around....

As Logged By: Agent Chase   Peek-a-boo where are you? Peek-a-boo I won't tell you.  Am I around the corner Or under the open drawer?   Time for a nap again?  Just when I was about to win. How about one more peek-a-boo? Where Mommy won't have a clue.     "Peek-a-boo!  Where are you?"     Mommy tiptoes down the hall, never once knowing how loud her feet fall.  You may not know where I am hiding, dear, dear Mommy.  But I know exactly where you are with every single foot fall.   "I'm going to find you."   Where, oh, where could I be?  There she goes looking around the corner.  Then she stompy tiptoes over to her desk by the door.   "Are you hiding under this open drawer?  Ha!?  Oh," Mummy slumps for only a second before taking off to look for me again.   Where, oh, where am I?   Leaning against the crib, of course.  The one place Mommy won't expect me to be.  Sitting among...

 As Logged By:  Agent West   Fair time is so much fun But this baby is done. Cousin JimJim has tagged along For the whole day long.   Time for the baby Ferris wheel. Sitting next to JimJim is not ideal A mock poopy on his seat Makes quite a stink in this heat!     Today is the day!  Today we're heading to the fair!   That means cotton candy, corn dogs, funnel cakes, and... fried pork tenderloin sandwiches!!!!!!    "We're on our way!"  Mommy announces as soon as she's in the driver's seat.  "All we have to do is stop by your cousin JimJim's and pick him up so he can come, too."   My smile drops and my cheering arms lower.    What did you say, Mommy?    Who is coming with us today?   There is no time for her to answer.  She's already pulling into the spot!  The driveway of none other than...  Cousin JimJim's family.   Well, well.   Cousin JimJim sneers as soon as he's st...

 As Logged By: Agent Rose I like a carrot once or twice. They do taste very nice, One thing about carrots, though Is they can bring an orange glow.   I know it's not nice to stare, Even when it's Molly's bad hair. Something's off, I know it is!  And it isn't Molly's major frizz.    "Ugh!  Why does that baby always have to stare at me?"   From across the table, Molly groans loud enough to make the walls tremble.  It is true, I can't deny it.  This diabolical cutie is staring.   Staring and gawking!   Now, here's the thing.  I'm not trying to be diabolical.     Though, trust me, I'll think of something sneaky to do.   It's the glow in Molly's skin.  The tone of her pigment.  The way her tan seems... like a really bad wax job on a car.    I've seen this teen be tan before and it looked rather nice.     But, please.    Don't ever tell cousin Molly that I gave her a co...

 As Logged By:  Agent Chase    I'm simply sitting sweetly While Mommy sets the table neatly. Then I hear some odd giggling. And Mommy guiltily wiggling.   Daddy's huffing and grumpy But Mommy has me getting frumpy.   Who is to blame for that? Not Gobbles and certainly not the cat!    Ah, nothing like taking a break from diabolical plots and schemes to innocently sit by the window and watch the birds and butterflies flitting and flying about.     I know I am wasting a perfect opportunity.  Especially, with Mommy setting the table and completely distracted.  Such perfect timing to leave something squishy on the floor, or perhaps something stinky and sticky by the door.   Maybe later, but for now...  This diabolical mastermind needs her rest.   "What was that!?!?!?"  Daddy suddenly asks.  He's grabbing at his upper arm and glancing at it confused and, also, checking for a bruise.   A quiet n...

 As Logged By: Agent West   The diabolical plan is all set For a trick they haven't yet met. They will run and run some more Away from what I have in store.   What's this cushy seat I'm in That is when the rocking begins I try to bat at the floating stars Till I start dreaming of cars.    "All I want is a hot meal," Mommy whines.  "For the last week, West has had some crazy catastrophe hit as soon as I put dinner on the table."     Hehe, yes I have!    Wait until Mommy sees what I have in store for today.   "I know," Daddy tries to empathize.  However, Mommy isn't buying it.  One lift of her brow and he knows that she knows that he's been sneaking his dinner (his warm dinner) in before coming to help.  "What if I take him tonight?  Then you can enjoy a hot meal finally."   Oh, no, no, no.  That will not be possible.  Not with the calamity of diabolical crazy that I have ready.   To make s...

 As Logged By:  Agent Rose   A new tooth is making its way It may even come out today! So much teething has me drooling All over April's home schooling.   A goodbye hug is so, so cute Even when I make a little toot. Then my gums need to gnaw on someone's antique shawl!   "Do you see it?"   "I see it!  I see it!"   Mommy is pointing her finger right in my mouth with babysitter, April, oohing and ahhing all about.    What do they see?  Have you taken a guess?   Yep, it's a tooth.  A tooth that has yet to come out.  A tooth that is hurting and hurting.  Its pointy end is pushing against my gums, it's about to break through.   What does that mean for this little cutie?   "Ugh, Rosie, you're drooling again."   Mommy wipes off my mouth and I can't help but pout.  I'm not meaning to drool.  You try dealing with this pain, Mommy.  I bet you won't last a day, nor an hour, not even a minute! ...

 As Logged By: Agent Chase    Mommy's got the pictures out And I'm ready to just shout.   Bored, bored, bored am I Staring out the window at the sky.   Alone with pictures is dangerous When I'm making such a fuss. Mommy will simply scream When she sees the result of my scheme.     "Look at this adorable photo, Chase."  Mommy holds the picture in my direction without checking to see if  I am looking.  "This is when we dressed you up for Christmas photos after you were born."   I give a great yawn, though she doesn't notice.   I'm bored.  Bored, bored, bored!     So bored!   Mommy has been at this for two hours.  Sorting photos before gluing them in her picture book.     Meanwhile, I'm stuck by the window with nothing else to do but stare at the sky, at a rock, at the grass, at my toy truck.  Everything that is outside.  Where I would love to be.   "Ooh!  Here'...

As Logged By:  Agent West    Mommy has me in the shade As I chew on a grass blade. A dart gun in one hand As I fill something with sand.   Here comes the crazy lady That despises this little baby. Should Mommy give her a cookie? Oh, that poor, crazy rookie...   Ah, nothing like life on the farm.   Well, Grams and Gramp's farm, that is.  And I'm here sittin' in the shade while chewing on a grass blade.   Okay, okay...   That's not all that I'm doing.     Mommy's made me a nice spot under this tree.  Complete with a blanket, some toys, a few snack treats, a take-along sandbox, and...  her purse.   Both the one with the special cards inside that make it so she can spend all the money she pleases and the one filled with many, many delicious snacks.  The very snacks that I'm not allowed to touch until Grams, Gramps, and Mommy finish putting plants in those boxes full of dirt.   Sooooooooooo...   If I'm ...

 As Logged By: Agent Rose    The 1960s had some lookers But the kid car's a cooker! This baby's behind is sweating More than Daddy's probably betting.    No, we can't leave quite yet Not when the car ride's all set! This cutie has her sunglasses shining And Mommy's forgotten about whining.   The cars are all parked side by side and this diabolical cutie can't make up her mind!     This one is purple, that one is bright blue.  They all look so gorgeous.  I just love old cars!  I do, I do, I do!!!!!   "What is this little car?"  Daddy asks as we come to a stop.  Jutting his head forward, he squints and then double checks.  "Is that Mini Mouse at the wheel?"   "Indeed it is!"  Declares the man sitting next to the kiddie sized car.  "Does your little one want to have a seat inside?"   "YES!"  Mommy spouts while already getting her phone out.  "Oh, this is going to be perfect.  ...

 As Logged By: Agent Chase     I've been wrapped and swaddled And definitely don't feel coddled. Now a camera is in my face And flashing all over the place.   Mommy's hair is looking cute And Daddy's staying mute. I think I'll have some fun And send the photographer on a run.    Oomph!  Eek!     This thing is wrapped around me so tight that I can barely breathe!   "Are you sure she's comfortable?"  Daddy hesitantly asks.   "UGH!  Of course," Mommy groans, "babies love to be swaddled.  Chase is just being ornery."   Swaddled, yes.  Wrapped this tight?  NO!    "Is that your baby's name?  Chase?"  Asks a young man carrying a camera.     Wait a minute!  What's that camera for?  We're not taking pictures again, are we?  We've already been through this, just a month ago.  Why do you need so many pictures?  Aren't three or four enough!?!?!? ...