Showing posts from April, 2020

How to Drink Tea Diabolically

As Logged By: Agent Rose   It is deliciously warm and a delight to drink. This tea tastes good and the cup I'll chew like a piece of meat. Beware or it'll be gone before you can blink. Just watch me drinking, that's the real treat!   This mug is enormous! Don't let me drink it all before bed. Still, I think I am gorgeous When I tip myself back and it covers my head. I must confess!  I'm only eight months old and I'm already addicted to tea!  How?  I'm supposed to be diabolical.  I'm supposed to wreak havoc.  My mission was to find something breakable and what better than a tea cup.  But... one sip and I was hooked. It is delicious, it is stupendous!  I don't care if it is herbal or green.  But, there is a problem, a glitch in satisfying my addiction. Miss I'm-watching-out-for-your-health Mommy will only allow me a sip or two at a time.  Do you know what a tease that is?  To have a drop of sweet clementine and then

Greetings, Puppy. How Unfortunate That We've Met

As Logged By: Agent Chase   Today, Ladies and Gents, I introduce to you our arch nemesis and how we met.   Introducing: The Puppy    The Puppy is cute and can wag its tail. The Puppy is sweet, though it chases the mail. The Puppy can cuddle, The Puppy can howl, The Puppy can snuggle, but it'll never meow!   What is this cuteness?  What sort of devious distraction is this? I was brought to this cozy family dinner party with my diabolical plan all laid out.  Every detail was perfect.  Every angle of attack exact!  Oh, what a glorious plan it was. Just close your eyes and imagine it.  The family of aunts and uncles, cousins and more all sitting around the large table.  Their mouths stuffed to the rim.  Then I oh-so-diabolically crawl to each one with a glob of mashed sweet potatoes in hand and smear it all over them.  Each and every one!  But they'd never get mad at me, no matter how covered their faces became.  I'

I Might Have Eaten That. Now Watch Me Poop It Out!

As Logged By:  Agent West   The house is in chaos.  The family is in a fit. I swallowed down a grip pad, Which did hurt quite a bit. Oh, the price of being diabolically bad!   Should they take me to the doctor? Should they rush me to the ER? Nah, just wait 'til tomorrow, I'll have a surprise waiting in my diaper.   "Honey!  Honey!  What should we do?!" "Did he swallow it?  Is it down?" "Is he choking on it?!  How can we tell?!" Okay, okay.  So, it was a little harder to swallow than I thought.  Who knew something so smooth could hurt so bad going down?  I assure you, that was not part of the plan.  My eyes might have watered and their edges might have turned red.  I did get it down, I might pridefully add. It started as an accident.  I just needed something to chew, so Mommy handed me a card holder to play with until she got off of the phone.  Had she looked a little closer, she might have noticed four l

Too Diabolically Cute to Wake Up

As Logged By: Agent Rose   Have you seen the bags under my eyes? They're almost as bad as yours. Just listen to my cute sighs And don't make a sound as you close the doors.   Now, let me catch up on some rest. Let me have my beauty sleep, please. Before this baby's attitude turns into a mess. Before she resorts to acting diabolically.   Are you honestly approaching with the intent of waking me up again?  I just ate five hours ago and I'm not hungry yet.  It's two in the morning!  Who gets up at this hour?  Can't my parents be thankful, can't they sing praises that I'm sleeping through the night?  Why must they smother?  Why must they barge in and ruin this little angel's hour of rest?  What's an eight month old to do? This is why I joined the Diabolical Baby Brigade.  This is why I accepted Agent Chase's call.  I adore the giggles.  I adore the attention.  But, enough is enough!  Let this little gi

I Look Like Patrick Stewart. How Grand.

As Logged By: Agent Chase Oh, how grand.  I look like an old man. Is it the cheek bones?  The jaw line? The smile or the nose?  It can't be my tan. Tell me now or I'll threaten to cry and whine!   It must be the eyes and the chin. There is no use fighting it. My newborn face has done me in. Oh well, into the captain's chair I will diabolically sit. "What started it all?"  You ask.  What turned me from cutely innocent to diabolical and maniacal?  What started me on this quest to drive my parents mad?  Well, you're looking at it ladies and gents.  My parents couldn't get enough of that oh so famous Star Trek.  So, guess what they did the moment I was born!  They compared me to their favorite captain:  Jean-Luc Picard. "Oh, look at her eyes!" "No, look at her chin!' "Can't you see, it's in her expression!" "It's Patrick Stewart.  Yes, it is!" Oh, how grand.  At just a f


Prepare Yourself for the Diabolical Drei We are the Diabolical Drei (pronounced DRY for those of you who are new to our little brigade and  need a refresher).  That is German for three.  So, yes, we are the Diabolical Three. Beware!  The Diabolical Drei are near.  They're trained and ready. They need no tactical gear. Beware!  You never know when they'll strike. It could be today, tomorrow, or a week from now. Always be on the look out for a diabolical little tike.  Beware!  I see them now. One's cute, One's adorable. One's devious somehow. Agent West:   Adorable, abominable, very good at blowing spit bubbles Agent Rose:   Cute, cuddly, an undercover sweetie Agent Chase:   Delightful, devious, the diabolical mastermind Our Mission:  To seek out new tactics for driving our parents mad.  To get our bottle and drink it too.  To boldly take being diabolical to a level no baby has gone before! Arch Nemesis: