Mission Log of the Diabolical Baby Brigade

As Logged By: Agent Chase   Mommy's given me a taste And now I want more. I must make haste Before she closes the door.   If only there was some way To trick Mommy into giving me a bite. I bet there's something I could say. If I word it just right.   "Don't look at me like that," Mommy says, using her warning tone. But I stare right back at her with my warning tone glare.  Three times I tried to sneak into the pantry for some chocolate.  Three times Mommy has caught me. What can I do?  I must have another taste! I tried making a plan.  A most diabolical one, but my mind has remained blank. It must be the chocolate. There goes Mommy, into the pantry again to sneak her own mouthful.  Out she comes with chipmunk cheeks full of chocolate. I tighten my glare. But then a plan appears! Mommy must sense something as she tilts her chipmunk cheek head and squints at me.  Is it because my glar...

As Logged By: Agent West   The diaper comes off And I'm ready to run. Watch me take off! Watch me have some fun.   Mommy can't catch me As I run around with bottom bare. But, how diabolical can I be When Mommy doesn't care?   "Wessy, you have a wet diaper," Mommy says and picks me up to take me to the diaper stand. Yes, Mommy, I do have a wet diaper and do you know why?  Because I plan to wreak havoc the moment that my diaper comes off.  You have succeeded in getting me to go poopy in the potty, so I plan to get you back for that! "Are you going to be a good little Wessy and stay still for Mommy this time?" Maybe. Off the diaper goes without so much as a blink from me. "Okay, let's see if you have anymore to get out."  Mommy lifts me up, she puts me on top of the potty, she takes a relaxing inhale... Aha!  Bye, bye Mommy! And up I jump to escape with absolutely nothing covering my bum...

As Logged By: Agent Rose   The time has come To knock the pen down. To tear it apart and then some! Especially now that I look like a clown.   Mommy thinks the dress is cute. Daddy says that it's adorable. I don't really give a hoot! I look absolutely deplorable!   Thank goodness that Agent Chase and Agent West can't see me now! "Oh, look how cute you are!"  Mommy squeals and spins me around. "She's so adorable," Daddy chimes in.  "I can't wait for Gran to see her." The two keep babbling on as Mommy sets me down in the pen.  YES!  It is still here!  I have yet to break this abominable contraption that keeps me stuck in the living room. You might be wondering what Mommy and Daddy are talking about.  What, apart from my absolutely adorable face, has made me suddenly look so cute? A white dress with multi-colored dots spread about.   The very same as what a clown wears!  Oh, I w...

As Logged By: Agent Chase   Mommy's acting most suspiciously And I'm wondering why. Could there be something deliciously Hiding in the pantry or nearby?   Eating this is like a sin For there is nothing like it. If that's the case then, I must try this chocolate!   For days I have been following Mommy, noting some suspicious actions of hers and trying to see what she's up to. Into the pantry she sneaks, closing the door behind her.  A second later Mommy comes out with cheeks bulging like a chipmunk's.  A satisfied smile on her face as she eats whatever it is that she has sneaked. What is this that Mommy is sneaking?  A sustenance of sorts?  What is in the pantry that Mommy can't seem to go a day without? I see Mommy sneak into the pantry again.  Slowly and quietly, I crawl to the pantry door.  I wait, but only for a second.  Out comes Mommy, almost tripping over me. "Are you following me?"...

As Logged By: Agent West    There stands Mommy and Daddy All covered with food, While I beam real gladly. I'm such a diabolical dude!   It started with mashed peas Before throwing some carrots. What next will I seize To toss at my parents?   "Okay, West.  Let's see if you'll eat this," Mommy groans.  Her hair is a tangled mess.  Her shirt covered with mushed peas.  Somewhere on her hiney is a stuck-on Cheerio.  And, last but not least, the make-up on her face has completely smeared. All thanks to me! Mommy sets the bowl of itty bitty pasta covered in tomato sauce in front of me.  Her hand quivers as she prepares to take a scoop. The little pasta pieces do look good.  Should I take a bite?  I could sneak just a little between flings and swings.  Ooh, how abominable it would be to give Mommy the idea that I'm done throwing my food.  Should I do it? Yes, I think I should! ...

As Logged By: Agent Rose   Being cute is what I do When not acting diabolically. I'm good at eating, too. Especially when I have a hungry belly!   Apples are my favorite. They're really crisp and sweet. You can make applesauce with it Or serve it with some meat.   I want my apple and I want it now! Mommy thinks that, because she has me strapped to a highchair, I won't be able to make a fuss or a mess.  But she has yet to give me any applesauce to spoon or an apple to grate with my two front teeth. I pick up my little spoon and slam it on my highchair's table. "What's the matter, Rosie?"  Mommy asks with a grin. What's the matter?!  Confound it, Mommy, don't you know how much I love my apple a day!  What?  You think this cuteness of mine comes naturally?! It does, actually. I pick up my spoon again and throw it down as my final warning.  If I don't get my apple in some form soon, Mommy will ...

As Logged By: Agent Chase Rule number one for parents, Especially those with a diabolical baby, Don't give us good merit to act out terribly.   But Daddy has forgotten And now I must get him back. Should I use food that is rotten? Or tissues for my attack?   I have been waiting for an hour for Daddy to pretend that he's my horsey.  I'm ready with hat on my head, but this baby, this diabolical baby, is still missing her horsey! I huff and glare up at Daddy as he plays on the computer. "Just a few more minutes," Daddy promises, but this baby is done waiting. I'm sorry, Daddy.  Now I must get even! Where are the tissues?  I'll pull and yank every last one out of that little box until the floor is nothing more than a sprawled out pile of fluff. Oh dear... I look all the way up at the top of Daddy's computer desk, where the box of tissues rest just out of reach.  Who puts tissues on a desk?  Why can'...