Showing posts from June, 2023

Diabolical gas pains

 As Logged By: Agent Chase I let out cries and wails From the pressure on my tummy, But this pain prevails. It hurts worse than playing gin rummy. Bring on the chamomile. Pull out the ginger. Why did I eat a meal That could so well injure? “WAAAHHHHHH!”   Oh, the pain.  The pain! Forget the diabolical plans. Forgo the toot bombs and tissue attacks. For dear, old Mommy has found a way to make this baby pay! That’s right. You’ve heard it straight from this diabolical mastermind’s mission log.    Mommy got back at me for all of the stinky toot bombs I’ve exploded at her and all of the rooms covered in torn up, shredded to bits tissues with… With… Cabbage and beans! The gas powerhouses of the food world. The two culprits now wreaking havoc on my poor, itty, bitty tummy. The tangled knots!  The twisting cinches!  The pressure pushing and pushing, but never moving! I can't bear it! "WAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!" I promise, dear, sweet, not-so-old M