Mission Log of the Diabolical Baby Brigade

 As Logged By:  Agent West   Wiggle, wiggle I'm so squirmy Worse than a baby wormy! Mommy wants to pick me up, But I'm not going to letup.   Wibble, wobble, tumble down Now this baby has a great big frown. How will I ever feel better? Definitely not in this wool sweater!    What is it with Mommy and her crazy need to dress me in dorky, wool sweaters?   Do you know what is knitted into the front of this sweater!?!?!?!?     A dancing Christmas tree.   Christmas was a month and a half ago!  But, Mommy doesn't care.  Mommy is 'oohing' and 'ahhing' and squeezing her cheeks as she gawks at me.   "You look so adorable!"  She squeals.  "You're my little dancing tree."   I'm a baby, not a tree.  If I could grumble, I would.  If I could spout back, I would.  If I could walk over and give her a toot that would make her fall on her back, I certainly would.      AND IT ITCHES!!!!!! ...

 As Logged By: Agent Rose     I love to drink tea diabolically, Though some will call it, 'comically.' Who might say such a dastardly thing? The one with the untied shoestring.   Cousin Molly is hardly the best There is simply no contest. I drink tea in the cutest way And I always have the final say.     I do love my tea time.   I do, I do, I do.   Get me some British biscuits!  Those yummy cookies covered in chocolate.  I am ready to dunk every single one in my cup of Oolong.     "Rosie's face has chocolate smeared all over it," Cousin Molly points and laughs.   "Now, now, Molly.  She is only a baby after all."   That's right.  A baby...  A diabolical one.     I snap a biscuit chunk off and give it a toss.  Up it flies and down it dives.  Straight into Molly's tea cup.   SPLASH!   "Ugh, she got tea all over me!"   To make it fair, I snap and toss a...

 As Logged By: Agent Chase   I'm shocked that Agent Rose dared to travel In a land known to make the mind unravel. Ghostly tales have met their match. For these hills come with a catch!   Was Henry Skills lost long ago, Trekking deeply through the snow?  Or did he fall in a dark, hidden pit Where his stink made quite a hit!     I've always known of Agent Rose's Auntie P to be a bit on the crazy side, but I never knew she was so crazy that she would lead her family into the heart of the Forest of Henry Skills.    Straight into the Unknown Hills!    It's been said that the Unknown Hills loop round and round... and round some more.  One too many, and you'll be lost for sure.   I wonder if our Agent Rose met the legendary Henry Skills.    They say he started for a hike one day, eons and eons of ages ago.  He set off with a whistle on his lips and a hop in his step.  Where was he going?   Not even Henry...

 As Logged By:  Agent West    Cousin JimJim wants revenge After he became a bit unhinged. He knows about the gremlin toy That I used as a ploy.   What is that he's looking through? Did Grandpa give him something too? Do I dare take a peek Or will it make me shriek?   You look like a poopy diaper.   You smell like one.   I glare at Cousin JimJim.  He glares right back.   I wish this diabolical dude had a plan.  I wish I had one.  I truly do.   But, I didn't know that Cousin JimJim was coming over.  It was a complete surprise.  A knock at the door.  A ringing of the bell.  Even Mommy seems a bit surprised.   "I'm sorry I don't have any coffee ready," she says in the kitchen.  "If only I KNEW you were coming over."   Meanwhile, JimJim pops a spit bubble.  One so big that even I'm impressed.     Bet you can't beat that.   Oh, yeah?   I get ready and blow a spit b...

 As Logged By:  Agent Rose   Who knew that chasing after a daisy Could result in something so crazy!? Showing off my new running powers, has led to this baby crying for hours.   Mommy's running back and forth Screaming and squealing for all she's worth. Will it ever come back? Uh oh, Mommy's tripped over the ice pack.     First, this cutie learned to stand.   Now, I'm racing around and causing havoc, mayhem, and making everything fall from the tables to the ground.   "Rosie, no!"  Mommy pants, dipping to catch a vase just in time.     SPLASH!   The vase may be saved, but there goes the water.  Splish, splosh.  Splish, splosh.  The carpet's completely soaked.   Oh, I'm so adorably diabolical.   Hey!  Look!  Look!  One of the daisies fell all the way over there.  I know what I can do!  I'll take off and grab it, then I'll be a diabolical cutie running with one of Mommy's...

 As Logged By:  Agent Chase    The wind is biting at my eye Until all I do is cry. Get this baby back indoors, So I can crawl on warm floors.   Back inside, safe and sound. No mischief to be found? Maybe I'll attack the tissues, Then make use of the cashews.    Brr!  Brr!  BRR!!!!!!!!!!   This wind is biting hard.  What on earth are Mommy and Daddy thinking?  Why have they brought me out here with them?   "Ooh!"  Daddy calls.  "Look, Chase.  Look at that one!"   I see, I really do.   I love the explosion of light that comes from fireworks at night.  How marvelous!  How grand!   Now, get me inside you crazy parent!   Can't I watch from in there?  Where the air is toasty warm and I can feel the tip of my nose?     BOOM!   There goes another.  This one as loud as one of Agent West's mighty sounds.     "Ahh," Mommy gasps.  "That one ...

 As Logged By: Agent West   You ask me how?  How did I train a cow? Quick wit be diapered. This baby used the right cured.   A small bite of hay Kept this cow from calling all day. Did I really get it to 'meow?'  Or is it trickery, somehow?   If Agent Chase is impressed, I call this mission a success!   This family vacation has been fun, true.  I can't deny that anymore than deny my stinky diaper.  Goat battles and maniacal geese aside, this diabolical dude has had boring moments where he's wanted to sneak away and hide.   Hide and blow spit bubbles.   That's how it all began...   While Mommy pretends she can milk a goat and Daddy tries to imitate the farmer I've nicknamed Ted by saddling a horse...  Hopefully he remembers that the horn faces forward and not the other way around...  Anyway, while they do that, I have sneaked away and am hiding next to the cow, Bessy, nestled snugly in the hay.    I am not em...