Mission Log of the Diabolical Baby Brigade

 As Logged By: Agent West Have I stuck it in my hair? Or all along the back of the chair? Who doesn't love a toasted marshmallow, especially with some raspberry jello?! Mommy's screaming gives me a headache. I might have to make a jailbreak. Will smearing marshmallow on Mommy's face Turn her into a complete nutcase?    "Oh, no!  Not your hair!"  Mommy screeches and grabs her own hair, giving it a pull.  "West, how am I going to get that out?" Hehe. It started out with an indoor S'more bash.  It started with some marshmallows toasting over a miniature flame.  I might have smeared some on my face and gotten Mommy to laugh.  I might have grinned adorably, egging Mommy on to give me a few more. Now, I have marshmallow smeared all over my clothes and I have marshmallow smeared all over Mommy's, too. She tries to stop me, but I start to crawl away, smearing marshmallow on the carpet as I go. "No!  Not the floor!" It's a diabolical dude ma...

 As Logged By: Agent Rose The new year has sprung at last With a party that was a blast. What to do with so much cake? That Mommy clearly didn't need to bake. The time has come for this undercover sweetie To be diabolical with Mommy's sweet tea. It needs a little extra flavor. Some added carrot that she can savor.  What a party!  What a blast!   We rang in the new year.  I partied so hard that I ran out of toots!   Now, morning has come and I am ready for some applesauce.   When I go into the kitchen, however, I am met with a sight that has me gasping in awe.   How many cakes did Mommy make?  Sure, we sang and cheered.  Sure, we invited family and friends.  Sure...   But, it wasn't that many people.   Cakes are stacked here.  Cakes are stacked there.  When did she make a double layer red velvet cake?  I don't remember seeing that last night.   And I thought the piles of Christmas cookies was too much. ...

 As Logged By: Agent Chase My diabolical plans have gone awry. Thanks to the snow falling from the sky. Now, I'm stuck inside the house, Pouting like a sad, little mouse. Mommy wants to go outside? Go ahead, while I hide. It's much too cold for a ride. I doubt I'd love sledding more than the slide. A winter wonderland, they call it? Ba! Humbug! It's frozen snow piled high.  So high, that we can't drive anywhere.  So high, that the latest Diabolical Baby Brigade meeting has been cancelled.   Cancelled, I say!   Now, what is this diabolical mastermind to do?  I'm stuck inside the house without a stink bomb in sight.  I stare outside the window and watch the snow fall, fall, fall.  Faster and faster until the world completely disappears.   Ba!   Humbug!   "Okay, Chase.  You've moped and groaned for far too long.  You haven't even changed out of your mouse pajamas."   You would mope too, Mommy.  You certainly would....

 As Logged By: Agent West Christmas morning had nothing under the tree Not a present was there for me. Except, for a single Easter egg. From some Captain Sneaky-Leg. That egg sent me on quite the chase. Hurry!  We must quickly make haste! This adventurous tale might never end If we don't find the X, my friend. It's here!!!!!!!!!! Wake up, you crazy parents!  Wake up! "WAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" "Gugh," Mommy groggles.  "West, I'm coming." Finally, they're awake.  What's a baby to do on Christmas day?  Send a hoard of stink bombs their way? "Who's ready to open their presents?"  Mommy squeals as she picks me up. Is she serious?  I've been trying to wake her for minutes and she doesn't know if I want to open my presents or not?  Haven't I been a good baby for the last two days? Mommy carries me down the stairs.  I close my eyes, the suspense is threatening to make me toot. PPHHHHHRRRRRRTTTTTTHHHHHHTTT! "Eww, West.  M...

 As Logged By: Agent Rose   Who doesn’t like a Christmas cookie? Whether fancy or simply low key. But, Mommy won’t stop baking And the oven timer has me waking. Time to put an end to all of this I’ll take the cookie with a chocolate kiss Munch, munch, munch on my parent’s bed Til’ the crumbs keep them awake instead.   Beep!  Beep!  Beep! Not again.   How's a girl to get her tooty beauty sleep if Mommy keeps setting that blasted oven timer all through the day AND night? Beep!  Beep!  Beep! That's it... "WWWAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" "Oh, Rosie.  Did I wake you?"  Mommy asks as she comes in to comfort me.  "I'm sorry, Sweetie, but you know that I have to make enough cookies for the family or someone might not get one of each. One of each?  How many types of cookies has this woman been baking?   As soon as Mommy carries me into the kitchen, I see the stacks and stacks of cookies.  Green ones shaped like t...

 As Logged By: Agent Chase Agent Chase's Mom The holidays are an interesting time Where families get together and enjoy key lime. It's also a time of sibling rivalry. And, this time, I've brought the cavalry. My sister thinks she can embarrass me. But, Gobbles has given me reason to say, "We'll see." A random deer leg in the woods? Gross!  Hmm... What interesting goods. How is it that I always love the holidays: the family coming together, the cold weather nipping at my nose, the hot chocolate, the laughter, the merriment, the decorative beauty. And, at the same time, I can’t stand them! This morning is no different. I’m standing outside, knowing that my baby Chase is planning something diabolical to frazzle more of my hair, yet what is really on my mind is my sister. And our rivalry… Did she have to embarrass me last night? It was supposed to be a fun game night for the family. Instead, she got everyone laughing at me as she brought up...

 As Logged By: Agent West Another dirty diaper is tossed into the pail After a poopy so stinky, it made Mommy wail. It doesn't look all that full. Could it fit Mommy's sweater, the one made of wool? That's not enough, I'll give it some more. A wallet, a purse, those pearls they adore. Next this bowl of chocolate pudding cake. Wait!  Pudding cake?  Time for a break. "Ugh, West!"  Mommy shrieks between gasps.  "This one's the worst," she coughs and gasps.   Hehe!   I may have sneaked some cabbage and beans and I may have added a stink bomb...   Or three.   Mommy's eyes water.  Her nose crinkles.  Still, she works as fast as she can to get the dirty diaper off and into the diaper pail.     "Whew," she sighs once the atrocity is gone.  "West, you're pushing it.  I know that stink wasn't just something you pooped out, little man."   You may be right, but I've moved on from that diabolical success.  Now, my s...