A Diabolically Stinky Bed

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 As Logged By:

Agent West

 

Tooting in bed is always fun.

Especially, when the stench makes Mommy run.

 Let's kick it up a notch

With a moldy butterscotch.

 

Not stinky enough?

I've got more powerful stuff.

This diabolical dude is ready

To try out my ultimate stink teddy!

 

 PPPHHHHHRRRRRFFFFFTTTTTHHHHHHHT!
 
"Ugh, West!"  Mommy screeches and grabs her nose.  "That is disgusting."
 
"It is pretty bad," Daddy tries to say without laughing, though he fails completely.  "I bet it's all those baked beans he ate."
 
Yes, yes it is Daddy.  They tasted so good and, now, I'm taking full advantage of their gasseous power.
 
 PPPHHHHHRRRRRFFFFFTTTTTHHHHHHHT!
 
"Eww!  That's it!"  Mommy screams as she runs.  "I can't take the smell anymore!"  
 
Ha!  Another diabolical mission accomplished!  Agent Chase will be proud!  Nothing stops this diabolical dude from stinking up the place.

But, what about Daddy?
 
He's only laughing.  He's finding this all funny.  True, it is, but I need to take it up a notch if I'm going to get him too.
 
I slide off my bed and crawl to the toy chest.  I glance behind me to make sure Daddy isn't looking.  The coast is clear!  I push a compartment to the side. 
 
What all goodies do I have in here?
 
Some unwashed socks, a nice, stinky oldie.  A new stink teddy I've made?  Nah, Daddy's not ready for that.
 
Aha!  A moldy butterscotch.  
 
A stink so unique, it will drive him insane.  
 
I make sure that no one is looking before I crawl on over to Daddy's special chair.  Carefully, I nestle the moldy butterscotch down between the cushion and the frame.  He'll never find this and the stink will drive him insane!
 
"Hop off, West," Daddy says.  "It's time for me to catch up on some reading."
 
Certainly, Daddy.  I wouldn't dream of staying in your way.  Please, sit down in your chair and...
 
Take a big sniff!
 
"What in the world?"  Daddy asks with a crinkle of his nose.
 
He looks to the left, he looks to the right.  Another sniff, another crinkle.  He looks to the floor, he looks to the side.  
 
Where, oh where, could be the source of that stink?
 
Hehe!  Haha!  Mwahahaha!
 
"Yuck!"  Daddy suddenly declares.  "Honey, I found a moldy butterscotch."  
 
"Uh huh," Mommy gives me a look.
 
 What?  How did he find it? 
 
Daddy hands her the stinky candy, she whisks it away, and he goes back to reading.  COMPLETELY NOT BOTHERED BY THE STINKY! 
 
How was that not enough?  It stank so bad, even I thought to gag.  Alright, that does it!
 
Tonight I will bring out my new, my improved... 
 
DIABOLICAL STINK TEDDY!
 
 
Upcoming Log:  Diabolical Blueberries
 

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