Showing posts from November, 2020

Time for a nap? We'll see about that!

 As Logged By: Agent Chase I may be tired. My eyes starting to droop, But I'm too wired And ready for a big poop. Mommy says she needs a break. Daddy wants to lie down. Do they really think they can make This baby go to sleepy town?   Man, do I have to poop!   Mommy has laid me down, and a nap does sound nice, but this baby is not going to go to sleep that easily.  Especially, when I need to go to the bathroom this crazily.   Now, I know what you must be thinking.  If you have to go, then go and call out for someone to come and change your diaper.   That sounds well and good, but then I'd surely fall asleep.  This isn't just about a smelly poopy.  I'm a diabolical baby.  I must make this about driving my parents insane.   Sniffle, sniffle.  "Wah!  Wah!"   In comes Mommy.  "It's okay, Sweetie.  Just go to sleep."  She rocks me gently against her shoulder, which feels quite good.   I start to doze and the coast seems clear.  Mommy holds her breath

Making Mommy lose her mind

 As Logged By: Agent West Mommy could have sworn That she put it away. This is why I was born. To drive Mommy crazy.  Hurray! She turns around And there it sits So neatly on the ground. Not torn into little bits. "There's my order form!"  Mommy exclaims, reaching down to grab the shiny piece of paper off of the floor.  "How did you even reach it?" It was quite simple, Mommy.  I am ready to tell you how.  But, alas, you have not waited for me to explain.  You asked your question, then ignored me while you put the order form away. Or did you... "What the..."  Mommy gasps when she turns back around.  "Is that...  But I could have sworn..." She looks at the order form sitting on the floor.  She blinks and blinks, but it is still there.  So, she goes to her desk drawer and what is in there? "Huh," Mommy says when she doesn't find the order form in there, though she is swearing that she had put it away not five seconds ago.  "Wel

Spiders, spiders everywhere

 As Logged By: Agent Rose They're creepy.  They're crawly. They have eight whole legs. Should I love them like cousin Molly Or fear them like Granny Megs? Fear them?  Are you crazy? I'm a Diabolical Drei baby! I'm not going to be lazy Agent West says, "squash 'em."  Maybe... Okay!  What is it with autumn that the whole world becomes nothing but spiders!? They're in the car.  They're in the air.  They're under the sink.  Ech!  They're in my hair!  No, wait... That one was a fake.  Well done, cousin Molly.  What a funny trick you played at Auntie P's Halloween party last night.  Guess who's been added to my target list... At least, I didn't scream like Granny Megs when I pulled it out of my hair. There goes one now, a real one, across the bathroom floor.  I crawl closer to inspect this species of creepy crawlies.  It scuttles about with its eight legs so well and who can't help but admire a bug that paralyzes its prey?   "

Mommy ate my chocolate

 As Logged By: Agent Chase Mommy dressed me like a bunny. One with big, floppy ears. Everyone thought it was funny. A Halloween to remember for years.   I ignored my diabolical side And put up with it for the night. Then Mommy sneaked right inside The pantry.  Yep, that's right.   I put up with it!  Why did I put up with it?   For three hours, I was a fuzzy-wuzzy, cutesy-wootsy bunny.  With ears so long that they kept flopping in my face and hitting my nose.  So, why did I subject myself to such torture, such parental ridicule? A)  At least, I was no longer dressed as Jean-Luc Picard.  That captain of the next generation. And B)  FOR THE CHOCOLATE!  DUH!!!! I'd put up with anything:  Cheek pinches, silly photos, a hug from the Puppy.  Anything to get a pumpkin bucket of chocolate filled to the rim. Then Mommy did a bad, bad thing.  Something this diabolical baby can't ignore. Into the pantry, Mommy tiptoed when she thought I wasn't looking.  Not to sneak some of her ow