Mission Log of the Diabolical Baby Brigade

As Logged By: Agent West   I don't have a poopy waiting, Ready to explode once my diaper's on. Or maybe I'm lying and baiting To let you think that you've won.   Will it be green Or possibly brown? It depends on what I've been eating And how it went down.   "Go poopy, West.  I know you have to." Yes, I do!  In fact, I've been waiting and holding my poopy in.  But sitting on the potty when I have to go poopy makes it difficult to hold it in much longer.  It'll all be worth it, though. I promise.  Hahaha! Mommy rubs her face.  She sighs a heavy sigh and you're about to know why.  This baby has been rebelling in a most diabolical way. "I gave you stewed prunes with your squash.  I know that you have to be ready to explode." YES I AM! I grit my toothless gums and try to hold it in a little longer. Mommy sighs again.  "Okay, fine." Off of the potty she lifts me to put a

As Logged By: Agent Rose   I may be a sweetie. One that's cute and cuddly. But I'm also a meanie. One that's diabolically ugly.    If there's something I want to do, Don't you dare stop me Or I'll grab your shoe And throw it into your potty! The sun is shining and the flowers look beautiful.  Forget taking a nap or a bath.  This baby wants some time outside.  Some time roaming in the dirt.  Maybe I'll pick a flower and eat it, too. Did Mommy listen, though?  Did Daddy care? NO! I sat next to the front door.  I put my hand against it.  I even stood and eventually pounded it with my fist.  Yet, here I am.  Still completely inside and still waiting to go outdoors. Should I continue to sit here and wait like a good girl? Or should I do something completely diabolical instead? Daddy's new shoes do look pretty shiny.  I wonder how they would look inside a potty. They do look brand new.  They probably were expe

As Logged By: Agent Chase   Where did Chase go? She's not playing with the folder. She's on the stairs.  Oh, no! This baby is getting bolder.   Being diabolical is tough, Especially when out of ideas To make life on my parents rough. So, I'll climb the stairs with tortillas.    Bored.  Bored!  BORED!! I'm sitting here, on the floor, with nothing to do but flip through my Diabolical Drei folder.  Agent Rose is planning something sneaky.  That's nice.  Agent West, though, has decided to turn good? I know! Oh, great.  Now I'm making references to Mommy's favorite television show.  It's Friends for those of you who didn't know. I have to come up with a diabolical plot soon or next it will be my mind that I'll lose.  But, what to do? To my left is the kitchen.  Mommy's sneaking into the pantry again.  Sheesh, Mommy loves her chocolate.  To the right is Daddy's office, where he's scrunching

As Logged By: Agent West   I know I'm a diabolical dude And I'm quite proud of that. But I love Mommy's food. It's a weakness I cannot combat!   Stew with a touch of meat? I'll take it, please! I'll even be extra sweet, If you top my meat with some cheese.   Mommy stares me down, waiting for my next move.  She's expecting one to come, but I just sit there all wide eyed and sweet. This abominably diabolical dude has chosen to be adorable for the day. "What is your act, young man?"  Mommy lifts an eyebrow at me.  "I'm on to you.  I didn't become your mother yesterday." Okay, okay.  So this is an act, of sorts. I want some more of that blendered beef stew!  I do!  I do!  I do! And I'll do whatever it takes to get it, too! I'll even be good! Throw in the peas and carrots, please.  Toss in the beef, then add a touch more.  Not too much onion, though.  There's a

As Logged By: Agent Rose   It's been too long since I've had any, But standing is no longer enough. I'll have to be a little more canny Or this baby will have to get tough!   First one step and then another. How hard can walking be? I bet I can walk better than Mother After she's had something that isn't tea.   Agent Chase has sent out her orders.  This cutie's diabolical mission of the day is to find a way to break dear old Daddy.  Mommy was easy.  She's so gullible to my cuteness. But Daddy's been tricky.  There's no denying that.  How shall I break this man?  How shall I put him under my spell? Look at him sitting at the dining table while he scoops peanut butter straight from the jar.  Oh no, babies can't do that, but it's perfectly fine when parents want to.  So I might have taken too big a bite of peanut butter and choked on the glob as it went down.  Is that really reason to cut me off completely?