Potty Training the Parents

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As Logged By:

Agent Rose

 

I may be a sweetie.

One that's cute and cuddly.

But I'm also a meanie.

One that's diabolically ugly.

 

 If there's something I want to do,

Don't you dare stop me

Or I'll grab your shoe

And throw it into your potty!

The sun is shining and the flowers look beautiful.  Forget taking a nap or a bath.  This baby wants some time outside.  Some time roaming in the dirt.  Maybe I'll pick a flower and eat it, too.

Did Mommy listen, though?  Did Daddy care?

NO!

I sat next to the front door.  I put my hand against it.  I even stood and eventually pounded it with my fist.  Yet, here I am.  Still completely inside and still waiting to go outdoors.

Should I continue to sit here and wait like a good girl?

Or should I do something completely diabolical instead?

Daddy's new shoes do look pretty shiny.  I wonder how they would look inside a potty.

They do look brand new.  They probably were expensive and they definitely are most likely not waterproof.  I almost start to feel bad, but that is the point of getting even.  Of being a diabolically cute baby.  If I can't go out and play, then Daddy's shoes shall pay!

I sneak right past, being as silent as ever.  Mommy never saw me and Daddy never heard.

Now...

How exactly should I drag this shoe?  By the laces?  Or should I push and let it scoot?

I go for the shoe's laces, threading my itty bitty baby hand through one of the loops.

Bouncedy, bounce!  Goes the shoe.  Not exactly dragging along like I had hoped.  I wish it didn't bounce so loud, but it's too late to change my plans now.  I have no choice.  I have to follow through.

Just a few more feet and I'm in the bathroom.  Some hearty tugs and bouncedy bounces of the shoe, can you guess where I am?  Why, in front of the adult potty.  The royal throne.  The mighty commode.

There's no way around it.  I'm going to have to lift this shoe to get it to fall in the adult potty.  Luckily, I've inherited Mommy's strong legs and Daddy's muscular caboose.

I squat real low.  I grab the shoe with both of my hands.  Oomph!  This is heavy.

But I'm not one that is quick to give up.

If I can lift the pen, then, so help me, I will lift this shoe!

I squat again.  Here I go with a heave...

"BAH!!!"  I scream.

Plop!  Sprinkle, sprinkle...

"Rosie!  What did you do!?"

Looks like Daddy's shoe is taking a swim.

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