Mission Log of the Diabolical Baby Brigade

 As Logged By: Agent Chase     I've been wrapped and swaddled And definitely don't feel coddled. Now a camera is in my face And flashing all over the place.   Mommy's hair is looking cute And Daddy's staying mute. I think I'll have some fun And send the photographer on a run.    Oomph!  Eek!     This thing is wrapped around me so tight that I can barely breathe!   "Are you sure she's comfortable?"  Daddy hesitantly asks.   "UGH!  Of course," Mommy groans, "babies love to be swaddled.  Chase is just being ornery."   Swaddled, yes.  Wrapped this tight?  NO!    "Is that your baby's name?  Chase?"  Asks a young man carrying a camera.     Wait a minute!  What's that camera for?  We're not taking pictures again, are we?  We've already been through this, just a month ago.  Why do you need so many pictures?  Aren't three or four enough!?!?!? ...

 As Logged By: Agent West    A Mommy's afternoon luncheon Has me feeling stuck in a dungeon. A chicken salad croissant Is not what I want.   A scone is all I get to eat. While I itch in my seat. Gurgle, gurgle, with every bite. Something's not sitting right.    I'm stuck in a high-chair with a blue polka dotted bow-tie.     How in diabolical names did I get stuck here?   First it was a horse show with a mock cowboy outfit, now I look like a silly billy at some fancy shmancy...  thing.   What is this thing I've been dragged to?   It isn't lunch and it can't be snack.  No one with half a brain would eat whatever that grey stuff on the cracker is.  All the mommies are dressed in old fashioned dresses and nearly every other baby was smart enough to pretend to be sick to get out of coming to this.     "Oh, dearest Tanya," Mommy breathlessly talks like someone from those corny romance novels she hides in...

 As Logged By: Agent Rose    A moment of comfy quiet Has turned into quite the riot! Buzz, buzz, hum, HUM! Is there a rocket near my eardrum?   Now someone is completely trapped And Mommy's almost snapped. Is there a way to save this little one? Can an Iris get it done?    Oh, yes.  This little cutie is ready for a nap.   Mommy and Daddy are working outside.  They're pulling weeds and trimming trees.  They're hauling mulch and planting pots.  Enough to make them drip, drip, drip with sweat.   Did I consider using this moment to my advantage?  Did I feel the urge to sneak in a diabolical catastrophe?    Of course!   I am a member of the Diabolical Drei, after all.   Then, I remembered that I have a birthday coming up and there is a big, big, BIG teddy bear that I would love for them to buy.  So, I'll give them a break this one single time.  That, and I really don't want to get all their sweat o...

 As Logged By: Agent Chase   Mommy's precious sanity time Has turned into a karate climb. Now I'm sitting next to stinky socks Wondering why they're balancing on rocks.   Mommy's talking is going well, When, suddenly, there's a stinky smell. Everyone wants to think it's me But, could it really be Mommy?    I'm so, so, so, so bored.   I'm the only baby in here, so that means I'm stuck alone in a portable play pen.  Meanwhile, Mommy's doing some sort of obstacle course.  Whatever it is, she's sweating and panting worse than a horse.   If only I had my diabolical tools.  I could be plotting and planning while no one is watching.  I could come up with many a great scheme and some tremendous ideas to drive Mommy and Daddy crazy.  To make a perfect stink!   PHEW!   Speaking of stink, couldn't Mommy have set my play pen somewhere else?  This basket of socks is putrid beyond stink.  Any worse and it would be giving ...