A Tale of the Color Blind Veteran and His Plane

 As Logged By:

Agent West

 

He dreamed to fly and soar.

He loved to hear the engine's roar.

He wanted to be in the sky,

Even after they said he couldn't fly.

 

I love to hear Uncle Rex's tale

I promise not to toot or wail.

 One may escape, but I really want to hear

About his discovered talent from that year.

 
 
 "West," Mommy says with her warning tone.  "Be nice to Uncle Rex."
 
Uncle Rex?  Uncle Rex? 
 
Have I heard of this Uncle Rex?
 
Should I get some stink bombs ready, or a special toot that'll make him hoot?  Who is this Uncle Rex?
 
"He's very old, so no wise tricks.  Got it, Mister?"  She stares down with that frightening, widened glare.
 
As fast as I can, I scooch and crawl.  Out of the kitchen and through the hall.  I look in the living room, I look in the dining room.  I blow a spit bubble, but, still, I see no sign of this Uncle Rex.
 
VRROOOOMMMMM!!!!
 
The loud growl from outside nearly has me tooting in fright.
 
What was that?  What roared and thundered so loud?
 
Daddy picks me up and carries me to the window.  Outside, I see the shiniest bike.  A motorcycle.  A real beauty.
 
"There's our Uncle Rex," Daddy says and points at the man stepping off of the bike.  
 
PPHHHRRRRTTHHHTT!
 
A toot accidentally slips.
 
"None of that, young man," Mommy growls from the hall and whisks me away for a quick diaper change.
 
I'll do my best, Mommy, I promise that I will.  That wasn't a toot meant to be mean, it was a toot of shock.  Of surprise, you see.
 
She doesn't seem to buy my innocence, so I throw her a toothless grin.  "Uh huh," she smirks.  "Just remember that I'm watching you."
 
"There's the stinker!"  Uncle Rex bellows at sight of me.  "How's the toot machine?  I hear he's growing pound by pound."
 
"He's an ornery one," Mommy tattles, then laughs.  
 
Hey!  I'm only ornery to you.  And, maybe, a few others... too.  
 
"Come on over, little one.  I'm just at the beginning of my tale."
 
Mommy sets me down next to the rest of the kids.  Cousin JimJim is there, but he's so busy staring up at Uncle Rex, he doesn't even bother to stick his tongue out at me.  Whatever this Uncle Rex is saying, it must be exciting.  It must be interesting.  I'll be quiet.  I'll be good.
 
"So, there I was," Uncle Rex starts up again.  "Wanting nothing more than to fly those glorious planes.  However, as soon as they found out that I am color blind, they immediately told me that I couldn't fly.  I was so disappointed, but there was nothing I could do.  I still loved planes, so I took up a wrench and I set out fixing them."
 
I look over at my tiny toolkit, at the plastic wrench inside, and I start imagining tightening bolts and fixing airplane engines.  I giggle with glee and Uncle Rex looks at me.  
 
"I worked on those planes under the cover of night, hiding under palm leaves whenever danger would strike."
 
My eyes grow wide, I barely move a muscle.
 
"One day, as I was checking on the engine of my favorite plane, my friend comes up to me.  'Rex,' he says, 'How soon do you think you'll be done looking at this one?  I need to take her up for a practice drill.'  I knew I could trust my friend, so I said, 'let me go up with you.  Just this once, it's only a practice drill.'"
 
"Do you know what he said?"  Uncle Rex asks and pauses for dramatic affect.
 
We all wait for the answer, bouncing with antsy impatience.
 
"He said that I could.  I was so happy.  I finally got to sit in the seat of my baby.  To feel the thrill of taking off and flying in the sky.  We flew over brush and greenery, we flew over ocean.  Oh, I loved the scenery."
 
"Then, my friend got to work with his practice drill.  'I'm supposed to spot and find anything and anyone hiding in camouflage.  They're hiding all about inside that thick greenery.'"
 
This is getting exciting!  I lean forward, then a little more.  That's when I feel something escaping.  I try to stop it, but it is too late.
 
PPPHHHHFFRRRRRTTHHHHHPPP!
 
Without a second of hesitation, Uncle Rex turns to look at me.  "You and your flatulence," he says, then beams.  A little chuckle and a hearty laugh.  

"Do you need a diaper change?"  Mommy asks and tries to take me away.  

No, no, Mommy.  It was just a toot, nothing more.  Now, let me be.  I want to see what happens next.
 
"'Well,'"  Uncle Rex starts again.  "I said to my friend.  'You've just missed two.'"
 
"'What's that?'  My friend asked and I pointed down at a few palm leaves."
 
"I said to him, 'There's two people hiding right next to that palm, don't you see?'  Turns out he didn't.  The camouflage blended right in, but with my eyesight, and the way that I'm color blind, I could still tell the difference between real greenery and camo."
 
"From that day on, I was on orders:  Go up with the planes, for you're the only one who can spot the camo!"
 
In honor of you, Great Uncle Rex!
 
 
 
Upcoming Log:  Diabolical Dog Allergies

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