I Might Have Eaten That. Now Watch Me Poop It Out!

As Logged By:

 Agent West


The house is in chaos.  The family is in a fit.

I swallowed down a grip pad,

Which did hurt quite a bit.

Oh, the price of being diabolically bad!


Should they take me to the doctor?

Should they rush me to the ER?

Nah, just wait 'til tomorrow,

I'll have a surprise waiting in my diaper.


"Honey!  Honey!  What should we do?!"

"Did he swallow it?  Is it down?"

"Is he choking on it?!  How can we tell?!"

Okay, okay.  So, it was a little harder to swallow than I thought.  Who knew something so smooth could hurt so bad going down?  I assure you, that was not part of the plan.  My eyes might have watered and their edges might have turned red.  I did get it down, I might pridefully add.

It started as an accident.  I just needed something to chew, so Mommy handed me a card holder to play with until she got off of the phone.  Had she looked a little closer, she might have noticed four little disks attached to the bottom of it.  I can't truly blame her.  I didn't notice either.  It wasn't until one popped off from faulty glue forgetting its job.

And there it was, lying on the floor.  One of those disks meant to keep the card holder in place.  It was smooth, it was round.  Why hasn't Mommy turned around?  Is neighbor Patricia's newest date really that interesting?  I look at the clock.  Five minutes have passed since I've seen Mommy's face last.

So, you think you can ignore me?  You're too distracted, eh?

Into my mouth the grip pad went.  I didn't bother chewing and just swallowed the whole thing down.  Well, it didn't quite go down with that first swallow...

Cough!  Swallow.

Cough!  Cough!!  Swalllllooooowwww...

"What is it, West?"  Mommy finally turned around and dropped the phone immediately.  Over to me Mommy came running.  "What is it? Is something in your mouth?"

That's when she noticed the missing grip pad.  That's when she saw three when she could have sworn there were four.

The next twenty-four hours was quite a ruckus.  I'm so diabolically bad!  But, never fear for this diabolical lad.  When they changed my diaper the next day, there stuck to my oh-so-adorable little bum was the grip pad.  Still intact, I might add.  The round, little disk might have hurt going down, but it didn't bother me at all coming out.  Though, I did make a face.  A diabolical one.  A raise of my eyebrow and an abominable smile to gloat.  They knew what was coming.  They knew what would be waiting for them in my diaper.

Here you go, Mommy.  Here you go, Daddy.  You can breathe a little bit easier... for now.  Next time, though, I'll make sure that I swallow something that tastes a little bit better going down.



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