Too Diabolically Cute to Wake Up

As Logged By:

Agent Rose


Have you seen the bags under my eyes?

They're almost as bad as yours.

Just listen to my cute sighs

And don't make a sound as you close the doors.


Now, let me catch up on some rest.

Let me have my beauty sleep, please.

Before this baby's attitude turns into a mess.

Before she resorts to acting diabolically.


Are you honestly approaching with the intent of waking me up again?  I just ate five hours ago and I'm not hungry yet.  It's two in the morning!  Who gets up at this hour?  Can't my parents be thankful, can't they sing praises that I'm sleeping through the night?  Why must they smother?  Why must they barge in and ruin this little angel's hour of rest?  What's an eight month old to do?

This is why I joined the Diabolical Baby Brigade.  This is why I accepted Agent Chase's call.  I adore the giggles.  I adore the attention.  But, enough is enough!  Let this little girl sleep, once and for all.

The door creaking has jerked me to attention.  There stands Mommy dearest and zombie-esk Dad.  

"Is she still asleep?"  Mommy asks with a nudge.

"I don't know," Daddy says after waking with a snore.  "I can't tell."

Quick!  Think you little diabolical sweetie!  Come up with a plan to make them forget their intention.  Find some way to get them to silently back away.


While their heads are focused on one another, I quietly slip onto my side.  They'll never notice the change in my position.  It's too dark for them to tell.  Now for the diabolical mastery of my plan.  Before it's too late, I pop my thumb into my mouth and feign the all-so-innocent-and-cute falling asleep whilst sucking on my thumb.

"Oh, Honey," Mommy says with another nudge.  "Look how cute she is."

"She's got her little thumb in her mouth.  I have to take a picture."

"No!  You'll wake her."

Yes, yesss.  Tiptoe out my bedroom door, Mommy and Daddy.  But watch out for the side table.  You wouldn't want to wake this seemingly innocent, little sweetie.  Now, hurry along and wait for me to be the one that makes the first peep.

I'll let you know when I'm awake, I assure you!


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