Greetings, Puppy. How Unfortunate That We've Met

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As Logged By:

Agent Chase

 

Today, Ladies and Gents, I introduce to you our arch nemesis and how we met.

 

Introducing:

The Puppy

 

 The Puppy is cute

and can wag its tail.

The Puppy is sweet,

though it chases the mail.

The Puppy can cuddle,

The Puppy can howl,

The Puppy can snuggle,

but it'll never meow!

 

What is this cuteness?  What sort of devious distraction is this?

I was brought to this cozy family dinner party with my diabolical plan all laid out.  Every detail was perfect.  Every angle of attack exact!  Oh, what a glorious plan it was.

Just close your eyes and imagine it.  The family of aunts and uncles, cousins and more all sitting around the large table.  Their mouths stuffed to the rim.  Then I oh-so-diabolically crawl to each one with a glob of mashed sweet potatoes in hand and smear it all over them.  Each and every one!  But they'd never get mad at me, no matter how covered their faces became.  I'd giggle so cutely that they couldn't blame me.

But what has happened?  What has spoiled my diabolical plan?  I don't even quite understand.

I had everything at the ready.  My hand reaching for the mashed sweet potatoes when...

"Ready everyone?  I'm going to let our new puppy out!"

Straight up to me this little, devious beast bounced.  Tongue hanging out of mouth and tail wagging to no end.  Then my hand seemed to take on a mind of its own.  Instead of going for the mashed sweet potatoes as planned, it went straight to the puppy's head! 

Pat, pat.  My hand tapped against the puppy's soft fur.

"Yip, yip!"  He barked excitedly.

"Ha ha!" I laughed in return.  UNCONTROLLABLY I MIGHT ADD!  To the point that I almost forgot my plan.

Oh, the humanity!  Oh, the humility!  I'm being outdone by a baby beast who has a tongue hanging out of his mouth and dripping slobber on the floor.  I can only imagine what the other agents will say.

But the destruction of the diabolical didn't stop there.  For that little puppy proceeded to entertain everyone else and all heads were turned away from me.  I tried to redeem myself.  I tried to renew my diabolical ability.

I grabbed the mashed sweet potatoes and went straight over to Mommy.

"Not now, Sweetie," Mommy pushed my hand away before I had a chance to cover her.  Wiping off my messy hand, she said, "Here, why don't you sit on Mommy's lap and watch the cute, little puppy for a minute."

He chased his tail, running in circles on the floor.  A minute turned into an hour and, before I knew it, I was asleep with my family carrying me out the door.  Diabolical mission NOT a success!

I'll get you next time, Puppy!  NEXT TIME!

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