A Diabolically Sleepy Confusion

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 As Logged By:

Agent Rose

 

 A heavy sleeper, I usually am

But not after a fright with eggs and ham.

How will I get any sleep?

It makes me want to weep!

 

Is Daddy calling for me?

Something's wrong, says he?

I'm so confused, or completely asleep

That I end up making him weep. 

 

I'm so tired!
 
All I want is to fall asleep, yet all I see with closed eyes is that nasty fright of egg and ham NON-delight.
 
Daddy thought he'd be funny.  Mommy thought it was a blast.  I was the one crying, and do you know why!?
 
My eggs and ham were covered in green!
 
Oh, yes.  They thought they'd read a book to me, then finish it off by serving eggs and ham with sauce that was so scary and green!
 
I refused to eat it.  I cried and cried.
 
So, I ended up going to bed with only a little milk and some carrot puree.  Barely enough to count as a meal.  I'm so hungry now.  Oh, my tummy hurts.  How will I ever fall asleep with so much gas paining me?
 
Now, I'm wide awake, unable to sleep.  Don't they know that this diabolical sweetie needs her beauty rest!  I toss to the left and I toss to the right.  Nothing helps my gassy tummy and that scary, egg and ham sight.
 
I close my eyes once again.  I try counting sheep, then I switch to counting cups of tea. 
 
Wait...
 
What's that?
 
"Rose!  Rose!"
 
Is that Daddy?  I can't tell.  The voice is too far off and there seems to be fog all around.  No, is it bats?  Or, worse.  Is it egg and ham filled hats?
 
What is going on!?
 
"Rose!  Help us!"
 
I'm here.  I'm ready.  What do I need to do to save you, Daddy?
 
I strain to listen.  This fog is getting worse.  Those bats are flying everywhere.  One runs straight into a floating hat! 
 
"Rose!  We need you to toot!  You have to toot, Rose!"
 
Toot?  Really?
 
"Please!"
 
I don't understand, but I must do my best.  I must save Mommy and Daddy from this terrible mess.  I muster my courage and swat away the egg and ham filled hats.  I push with all my might...
 
PPHHHHHHRRRRRRFFFFFFFTTTTTTHHHHHHHPPPPPPPTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Everything goes quiet.  Everything is pitch black.
 
That's when I realize that my eyes are closed.
 
What do I see when I finally open them?  No fog, no bats, no egg and ham filled hats!
 
There's Daddy standing near my window.  "Oh my goodness, Rose.  What on earth made you toot like that?"  He waves his arms in front of himself frantically.  "Oh, that stinks so atrociously!"
 
His eyes start to water.  Large, fat teardrops start to fall.
 
"I'm sorry I woke you," he says between sniffles.  "Oh, that stinks so bad.  I was only wanting to see the owl.  I thought you were awake, so I asked if you heard the owl hoot."  He waves his arms more and more.  "Then, you just all of a sudden let off this huge toot!"
 
Unable to bear the stink any longer, Daddy runs from the room and calls for Mommy to help him.
 
Huh, all that craziness must have been a dream.  
 
But, it did give Daddy a stink of a surprise!
 
 
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