A Diabolical Cookie

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As Logged By:

 Agent West

 

 Mommy has me in the shade

As I chew on a grass blade.

A dart gun in one hand

As I fill something with sand.

 

Here comes the crazy lady

That despises this little baby.

Should Mommy give her a cookie?

Oh, that poor, crazy rookie...

 

Ah, nothing like life on the farm.
 
Well, Grams and Gramp's farm, that is.  And I'm here sittin' in the shade while chewing on a grass blade.
 
Okay, okay...
 
That's not all that I'm doing.  
 
Mommy's made me a nice spot under this tree.  Complete with a blanket, some toys, a few snack treats, a take-along sandbox, and...  her purse.
 
Both the one with the special cards inside that make it so she can spend all the money she pleases and the one filled with many, many delicious snacks.  The very snacks that I'm not allowed to touch until Grams, Gramps, and Mommy finish putting plants in those boxes full of dirt.
 
Sooooooooooo...
 
If I'm not allowed to touch a single cookie until after they're finished, I might as well give them some sand to keep them nice and fresh.
 
I grab a handful and give it a toss.  I grab another and another.  All the way until the sandbox is only half full.
 
Mommy's special cards should have some sand covering them, too.
 
So, into the other purse I throw and handful or two, or ten.  Maybe a few more. 
 
"Hello there, Miss Bethany.  How are you doing today?"  Mommy sing-songs in her ultra mega friendly voice.
 
Miss Bethany!?!?!?!?
 
I jerk my head up and take a look.
 
There, heading right for us is none other than the crazy... really, really crazy and really, really old lady who really, really doesn't like me.  
 
Okay, so I might have dropped a stink bomb or two right on the couch next to her.  And those stink bombs may have gone off and left a stink in her clothes that wouldn't come out.
 
I take a whiff and, yep, sure enough.  I still smell a touch of that stink bomb stench.
 
"I'll be better once you and your squirt head out of here," Miss Bethany grunted and jutted her chin in my direction.  "You had better keep that one away from me.  I'm in no mood to start stinking today."
 
"I'm so terribly sorry that my West did that to you.  I have no idea how he got hold of such stinky toys."
 
Oh, that Mommy.  She's doing her best to fib.  Does Miss Bethany believe a word of this?
 
I grab one last handful of sand and give it a good toss.  
 
Mommy must have seen, for she turned to look directly at me.  No sooner does she see me, then she spots the bag full of goodies.
 
"Tell you what, Miss Bethany.  How about I make it up to you with a freshly baked, homemade cookie.  They're my special recipe."
 
Miss Bethany's eyes gleam, then they start to sparkle.  Her frown twitches into a bit of a grin.
 
"I wouldn't mind a cookie," she says without a care that the bag has been in my possession.
 
She reaches her hand in and grabs the first one and Mommy's first to see that something is very wrong. 
 
"NOOOOOO..."
 
Too late.
 
Crunch, crunch!
 
Miss Bethany takes a bite.  She chews once, then twice.  She chews thrice.
 
Then, her smile falls.
 
PLEEHHHHHHH!!!!!  
 
She spits it all out.  "What in the world is in these!?"  She screeches.
 
"They're chocolate chip.  That's all, but... West might have added a little sand."
 
 
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Previous log:  A Diabolical Car Show 

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