Diabolically Haunting Cousin JimJim

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 As Logged By:

Agent West 

 

Here comes Cousin JimJim

Munching on a spicy Slim Jim.

He thinks he can scare me?

Not this diabolical dude, you'll see.

 

But, I have quite the scare

For Cousin JimJim, if he'll dare.

Scream, scream here and there.

Cousin JimJim screaming everywhere!

 

 "Guess what today is?"
 
Mommy throws a sickly sweet grin.  All the while, I'm staring at the hairy mole glued to her chin.  
 
Time to get that removed, I would say.  Too bad I haven't learned to speak other than diabolical baby squeaks.  
 
"It's the family Halloween party.  I have the cutest costume for you."
 
NO!
 
NO!
 
NNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
 
I may be adorable.  I may be abominable.  I may be really good at blowing spit bubbles.  BUT THIS DIABOLICAL DUDE DOES NOT DO CUTE!
 
Especially, with a certain Cousin JimJim coming as well.  He'll make sure I'm the center of the laughing stock.
 
No, no, no, no, NO!
 
"There you go," Mommy coos five minutes later.  "What do you think?" 
 
Every fiber tells me not to look, but I can't help it.  I turn my head and glance in the mirror... 
 
I'm a chicken!? 
 
Not a scary one.  Certainly not the Chickenstein from my favorite Pup Named Scooby Doo episode.  No, no, no.  I'm a cute, fluffy chicken complete with puffy feathers that stick out like a great big, bloated ball of cuteness.
 
I'm going to have a great, big toot waiting for you when this is all over, Mommy.  Just wait and see.
 
I take a deep breath.  I blow a spit bubble or two.
 
Now is not the time to have a great big fit and cry.  Now is the time to make sure everything is set.  Every whoopee cushion in its spot and every secret weapon from wonderful Grandpa in its place.
 
Ding Dong!
 
That doorbell can only mean one thing.
 
Here comes Cousin JimJim...
 
Ha ha!  He points and laughs as he munches on a meat stick.  A slim Jim from the look of it.  You're a frilly chicken.
 
Blow a spit bubble you baby dino. 
 
"Look at these cuties!"  Our mommies squeal and giggle as they head into the kitchen.  
 
Look at us?  Look at us!?  JimJim's a cool dinosaur and I'm a puffy chicken!  This isn't cool.  This is humiliating.  
 
Hey, have a snack.
 
I eye the slim Jim with caution.  When I start to reach for it, though, he whips his other hand out from behind his back and throws a plastic snake in my face.
 
Ha ha!  Made you jump.
 
Is that the best he's got?  
 
I suddenly jump again.  This time I point at the corner and give a tiny squeak.  
 
RRRRRRROOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!
 
The loud growl nearly scares JimJim out of his dino suit.  He looks at the corner and sees the creepiest creature sitting there, just waiting to devour him.
 
Up Cousin JimJim jumps and crawls to the other side of the room.  Just when he gets there, though...
 
RRRRRROOOOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!
 
Another monster is spotted just inches from his face.  It's hairy and keen, it makes Cousin JimJim scream.
 
RRRROOOOOAAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!!
 
"WWWWWWAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!  WWWAAAAAHHHHHH!  WWWAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!"
 
"What is going on in here?"  Our moms come running after JimJim's shouts.  
 
"Someone has messed himself completely.  I need to go home and change him," Auntie says and whisks Cousin JimJim away.
 
"Wait a minute," Mommy says once their gone and cocks a brow.  "What is this?"
 
She heads to the corner of the room, where one of the creatures is creepily lurking.  She grabs it by the head and lifts it up for a better look.
 
"This is one of those old Gremlin toys.  Did your grandpa give you this!?"
 
Maybe... 
 
 
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