A Diabolical Blame Game

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 As Logged By:


 Agent Chase

 

 I'm simply sitting sweetly

While Mommy sets the table neatly.

Then I hear some odd giggling.

And Mommy guiltily wiggling.

 

Daddy's huffing and grumpy

But Mommy has me getting frumpy. 

 Who is to blame for that?

Not Gobbles and certainly not the cat! 

 
Ah, nothing like taking a break from diabolical plots and schemes to innocently sit by the window and watch the birds and butterflies flitting and flying about.  
 
I know I am wasting a perfect opportunity.  Especially, with Mommy setting the table and completely distracted.  Such perfect timing to leave something squishy on the floor, or perhaps something stinky and sticky by the door.
 
Maybe later, but for now...  This diabolical mastermind needs her rest.
 
"What was that!?!?!?"  Daddy suddenly asks.  He's grabbing at his upper arm and glancing at it confused and, also, checking for a bruise.
 
A quiet noise from the other side of the room has me peering over.  There is Mommy hiding her giggles as best as she can and doing the guilty dance!!!!
 
The moment that Daddy looks her way, she stops cold and makes a shocked face.  "What is it, honey?  What happened?"
 
"That's what I'd like to know.  Something just hit me.  I didn't see it, but I almost thought it was sticky."
 
"Oh, my.  I have no idea what happened," she says in a voice that is a little too innocent to believe and goes back to setting the table.  
 
Daddy huffs a few more times, then gets back to fixing the standing clock.  
 
Something isn't sitting right with me.  
 
It could be Gobbles' snoring, it could be a wet diaper.
 
But, I think it might be that Mommy is sneaking over towards me.  
 
PEW!
 
"Yeow!"  Daddy shrieks when something tiny hits his neck.  He checks it once, he checks it twice.  "Did you see what happened?"
 
Mommy's got her hands up and shoulders crunched as she shakes her head in a clueless fashion.  
 
Daddy huffs again.  This time with a grumpy tone.
 
As soon as his back is turned, out comes a spit ball launcher.  Mommy immediately aims and...
 
PEW!
 
"AH!"
 
"Chase, no!"  Mommy calls out and looks down at me with horrid shock.  "Stop doing that!"
 
Wait a minute...  wait a minute...
 
Are you blaming me, Mommy?  Are you honestly going to try to get this baby to take the blame for you?  You forget that, although I can't yet talk, I am a diabolical mastermind. 
 
"It can't be Chase," Daddy says, coming to my aide.  "I saw her out of the corner of my eye.  She hasn't move a single time."
 
"You can't possibly think it's Gobbles.  Is it?"  Mommy turns her wide eyes down at our turkey.  
 
Even I start to shake my head.  How could anyone blame such a cute turkey as Gobbles.  Not only that, but he's still fast asleep and snoring as loud as ever.
 
"What about the cat?"  Mommy asks as she starts to feel a bit of pressure.  Her nerves are growing and she's starting to sweat with desperation.
 
"We don't have a cat."
 
"Oh, yeah."
 
Let's end this, shall we?
 
I stick out my lower lip and reach for Daddy.
 
"Awe, are you wanting me to hold you?"
 
I nod my head and even give him a kiss.  Then I point at Mommy's back pocket.  Though she takes a step back, Daddy can see a certain launcher poking out.
 
"What is that in your back pocket?"  He asks and deepens his voice enough to make us all start to shake. 
 
"NOTHING!"  Mommy wails and runs for dear life.
 
 
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