A Diabolical Touch of Orange

 As Logged By:

Agent Rose

I like a carrot once or twice.

They do taste very nice,

One thing about carrots, though

Is they can bring an orange glow.

 

I know it's not nice to stare,

Even when it's Molly's bad hair.

Something's off, I know it is!

 And it isn't Molly's major frizz.

 

 "Ugh!  Why does that baby always have to stare at me?"

 

From across the table, Molly groans loud enough to make the walls tremble.  It is true, I can't deny it.  This diabolical cutie is staring.

 

Staring and gawking!

 

Now, here's the thing.  I'm not trying to be diabolical.  

 

Though, trust me, I'll think of something sneaky to do.

 

It's the glow in Molly's skin.  The tone of her pigment.  The way her tan seems... like a really bad wax job on a car.

 

 I've seen this teen be tan before and it looked rather nice.  

 

But, please. 

 

Don't ever tell cousin Molly that I gave her a compliment!

 

However, this tan is off by a mile.  Her skin may be darker.  That much is true.  

 

But! 

 

Since when does a tan make one look like an overcooked carrot? 

 

WAIT A MINUTE!

 

I've heard of this!  This is what happens when you eat too many carrots!  Billy at the end of the street had this happen to him.  Agent Chase and Agent West witnessed it.  The crazy toddler ate carrot jar after carrot jar.  His parents never made him stop.

 

That was when the tip of his nose took on an orange hue.  Then it spread to his cheeks and, before he knew it, his whole face was changing too.

 

Now, look at Molly.  Dear, crazy, insanely orange cousin Molly.

 

Look at the orange glow, look at the off shade of burnt carrot, look at...

 

Look at that hair!

 

I scrunch my face and that cousin of mine notices.

 

"What is she looking at!?!?!?" 

 

Your hair that's what.  It's a frizzy mess.  It's a tumbleweed.  It's...

 

NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

 

Auntie P is coming to the table.  And what does she have in her hands?

 

A dish of carrots.  Hot and tasty.

 

Yes, her carrots are the best.

 

But, cousin Molly can't have any.  One more carrot and she may finally turn as orange as a pumpkin!

 

"Ooh, these are my favorite," cousin Molly beams and fills her plate past the seams!

 

"Apparently they are Rose's too," Mommy adds as I crawl onto the table and hurry over to Molly's plate.

 

I must be quick, I must get there before she takes that first bite.

 

Molly stabs a baby carrot, one dripping with warm honey.  She lifts it toward her face.

 

WHACK!

 

Success!  I smack that carrot all the way to the floor.

 

"UGH!  What is she doing?"

 

I point at the carrot, then at her face.

 

With a gurgley groan, it's clear she doesn't understand.  Mommy and Auntie P seem to get it, though, as they start to giggle, then laugh.

 

"Sorry, Molly.  But I think Little Rosie is confused about your new spray tan."

 

"What does that mean?"

 

I point to the carrot again, then straight at her face.

 

"I am NOT ORANGE!  What do you know, you tubby baby?"

 

Tubby?  

 

I fist a carrot until it oozes from my fingers.  

 

Here!  Your hair needs some help anyway.

 

"UGH!  She's smeared mushy carrot into my hair!"

 

I'd say that's quite an improvement.  Now, if you'll excuse me.  I need to think of something sneaky to do.

 

 

Upcoming log:

 

Previous log:  A Diabolical Blame Game