A Cute Hug and a Diabolical Drool

-

 As Logged By:

 Agent Rose

 

A new tooth is making its way

It may even come out today!

So much teething has me drooling

All over April's home schooling.

 

A goodbye hug is so, so cute

Even when I make a little toot.

Then my gums need to gnaw

on someone's antique shawl!

 

"Do you see it?"
 
"I see it!  I see it!"
 
Mommy is pointing her finger right in my mouth with babysitter, April, oohing and ahhing all about. 
 
What do they see?  Have you taken a guess?
 
Yep, it's a tooth.  A tooth that has yet to come out.  A tooth that is hurting and hurting.  Its pointy end is pushing against my gums, it's about to break through.
 
What does that mean for this little cutie?
 
"Ugh, Rosie, you're drooling again."
 
Mommy wipes off my mouth and I can't help but pout.  I'm not meaning to drool.  You try dealing with this pain, Mommy.  I bet you won't last a day, nor an hour, not even a minute!
 
"We're off," Mommy says as she grabs her purse and checks Daddy's tie.  "Her dinner is in the fridge."
 
"Got it.  What time is your aunt coming to take over?"
 
"Auntie P will be here in an hour."
 
Auntie P?!?!?!?
 
No, no, no!  Not Auntie P!  Not when I'm drooling, not when I'm teething.  Not now, please!  
 
I slouch, but Mommy hardly notices.  Not when her favorite restaurant is calling, which means she'll be ordering a soufflé for dessert.
 
"Well, Rosie.  What would you like to do first?"  April asks once Mommy and Daddy are out the door.
 
Maybe we should hide and make sure Auntie P never finds us!
 
"Homework?  That's a great idea."
 
Wait, what?
 
I don't have any homework.  I'm a baby.
 
What is this crazy babysitter talking about?  
 
I crawl on over to see what this girl is getting out of her bag.  She sets papers and papers all about.  Some with numbers over here and others with lots of words over there.
 
"Eww, Rosie.  You're drooling on my homework."
 
Well, pardon me!  You try having a tooth come through.
 
DING DONG!
 
"Oh, good.  That must be the Auntie P."  April ditches me and runs for the door.
 
Since she's not looking, I drool some more.
 
Without noticing once, she shuffles her papers back inside her bag.  "Okay, time for me to leave.  "Now, you get to have fun with..."
 
"AUNTIE P!"  The infamous woman gives a shout and throws her hands into the air with the grandest of gestures.  
 
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!
 
No, no!  I want April to stay.  She may be boring, but she isn't Auntie P!
 
I reach out my hands.  I reach and I reach.
 
"Awe, how cute.  Do you want to give me a goodbye hug?"
 
April takes me in her arms and gives a little squeeze.
 
PPHHHRRRRFFFFTTT!
 
Oops.  That was a bit too tight of a hug.
 
"Ooh!  Does someone need to go to the bathroom?"  April giggles, not at all taken aback by this little sweetie's toot attack.
 
"Don't you worry, I've got this one."  Auntie P waves the girl away, along with any hope that she might stay.  "I'll put you on the potty, then it will be time to try out some food."
 
No, not with Auntie P.  She makes faces and laughs, then she snaps photos of me.  I may like my picture taken, but not when I'm on the potty!
 
Ring, ring.  
 
"Hello?" 
 
Saved by the phone ringing.  Now, I can relax.  
 
Ugh, but my gums hurt.  This tooth is about to come through.  I need something to chew on.  Something to relieve the pain.
 
Ooh, this looks pretty good.
 
Num, num.  I gnaw and gnaw.  Num, num, num.
 
Not bad, not bad at all.
 
Num, num, num. 
 
"I'm back," Auntie P sing songs.  "Did you miss... AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!  My antique shawl!"
 
What?  Were you hoping to chew on it?
 
 
Upcoming log:
 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Diabolically Messy Microphone

-
Image
 As Logged By: Agent Rose   Mommy won't stop squealing. She hasn't noticed how I'm feeling.  Go away and let me rest I tell you I'm not feeling my best.   "Try it," she insists.  What will happen if she persists? A new microphone? If only she'd have known.     "AH!  It's here!"   Oh, please.  Be quiet, Mommy.   "Rosie!  Did you hear!  It's here!  It's here!"   Please, for the love of poopy, be quiet.     Can't she see that there are circles under my eyes?  That my glow has dulled?  That my oomph has gone kapoof?   Mommy, stop running around and take a look at me.  Feel my forehead, offer me a drink.  I'm sick I tell you.  I need some rest.  So, please...   STOP YELLING, YOU CRAZY LADY!   "Ooh, I've been waiting for it to arrive, so I can set it up," Mommy explains without a second's notice of how I'm clearly sick.  "Did you know that I used to ...
Read more

The Story of a Maniacal Plan and a Diabolical Old Man

-
Image
 As Logged By: Agent Chase    Here is a story of excellence, A true master of eloquence!  One where people will gladly say  That diabolicalness can save the day!   A crazed man with a maniacal plan? He's nothing compared to this old man. An old man with a cane? That can only mean one thing!   Here is a story for you.   One starring a previous diabolical baby, who grew and grew.  Now, he's an old man, but that will never stop his diabolical jam.   Once upon a time...   Two men stood at the edge of an outdoor shopping mall.  “Are you sure you want to do this, Ralph? It’s only fifteen degrees.” “All the better! The chocolate will harden before these Christmas shoppers know what hit them!” Ralph sized up his soon-to-be victims. Especially, Henry’s Chocolate Emporium. “That Henry thinks he’s so special because he won the confection competition. I’ll show him! No one beats me.” “Weren’t you dead last?” “Quiet!” Ralph ...
Read more

Diabolically Delicious and Easy Spaghetti

-
Image
 As Logged By:   Agent West Agent West's Mom   Here comes dinner time And I haven't got any wine. Chocolate will easily suffice  With dinner easily nice.   No time for glitz and glam I've, also, run out of ham. There's always spaghetti waiting Yes, I think that'll be just the thing!   Diabolically Delicious and Easy Spaghetti  Tomato creaminess on noodles    Makes:  Enough for a toddler and a snack for you   Ingredients: 4 oz spaghetti broken into thirds 1 good pinch salt - don't hold back  1 cup pasta sauce - whatever kind you want   And, now, for my secret ingredient.  Are you ready for this?   2 Tablespoons salted butter   Directions: Boil enough water to cook your pasta.  If you have some extra broth, toss some splashes in the pot as well.  It'll add more flavor and some healthy nutrients, too.     Now, as you wait for that water to boil, is the perfect time to ponder the all imp...
Read more