A Diabolical Rant

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 As Logged By:

Agent Rose

 

 This diabolical cutie has had enough

All I want is to huff and puff!

  Get my anger out with a rant

All because of a certain aunt.

 

Are Mommy and Daddy really happy

About this baby feeling crappy?

 I'm venting, don't you see!?

I'll just go vent to Auntie P.

 
"MNAW MNAW NAW NAW!"
 
"Oh my goodness!"  Mommy squeals.  "Daddy, come quick.  Rosie is speaking."
 
Yes, I'm speaking.  That much is easy.  But can't you understand!!?  This baby is mad, mad, MAD!
 
"NAW NAW NAW NAW.... MMAAAA!"
 
Daddy comes rushing in, anxiously listening.
 
"MNAW MNAW NAW NAW."
 
"How adorable," Daddy sighs and comes right up to listen to more.
 
I, on the other hand, set my glare.
 
Don't these two understand?  I'm so mad that I'm willing to speak.  I'm willing to shriek!  This diabolical cutie is way too upset.
 
Why am I mad?
 
Why else?!  That poopy Auntie P has, once again, embarrassed me.  She waited until every single member of the family had arrived at her poolside barbecue, then she plopped a giant, silly hat right on my head.
 
Could I see?
 
Nope!
 
Could I get it off?
 
Nope!
 
I was stuck with this monstrosity covering most of my head, all while Auntie P lifted me up in the air to present me like a trophy of humility.
 
Ooooohhhhhh, how everyone had laughed.  
 
Especially, that Cousin Molly. 
 
"AUM NUM NUM NUM!" 
 
"Oh, she's so adorable," Mommy beams and widens a great big smile at me.
 
SMACK!
 
I swing my arm around and whack her on the nose.
 
"Ouch!  Rosie, that wasn't very nice."
 
"MNAW NAW NAW NUM!"
 
"Ooh, how cute," Mommy instantly forgets her popping punishment.
 
"Tell us more," Daddy begs.
 
Oh, this is getting nowhere.  I glance to the left, I glance to the right.  I spy the door.  Isn't Auntie P staying for the night?
 
I pause in my speech and just stare at Mommy and Daddy.
 
"Please!  Please, say something else," they both plead.  
 
I, however, just stay there.  Motionless, speechless, and without a shred of care.
 
Mommy and Daddy continue to ask for more, but they soon see that this little cutie is done with her talking and they quickly forget about me.
 
I wait long enough to make sure they've completely left me alone.  That's when I make my getaway and crawl, crawl, crawl.
 
Out of their bedroom and across the hall.  I take a moment to catch my breath, then I crawl some more.  All the way to Auntie P's bedroom, where this diabolical cutie knows just what to do.
 
I must time this right...
 
On my way, I grab a wad of forgotten gum.  A glob I've been saving for such an occasion.
 
"Hello there, Rosie!"  Auntie P beams with delight at my visit.
 
I give her a great big smile and drop the glob of used gum while she's distracted.  
 
"What?"  Auntie P asks when I widen my grin and point at the hat.  "You want me to try it on?"
 
"HA!"
 
"Ooh!  You spoke.  Will you try some more as soon as I put it on?"
 
I give her a nod and smile ever so sweetly.
 
"Here we go!"  Auntie P says and flips the flopping thing on her head.  "What do you think?  Now will you speak?"
 
"HA!"
 
"You're so cute," Auntie P says and grabs the hat to lift it off.
 
However...
 
It isn't coming off.
 
"What in the world?"  She asks and keeps lifting and pulling.  "HELP!"  She calls out.  "My hat's gotten stuck on my head."
 
"How could that have happened?"  Mommy asks as soon as she comes in and braces to give Auntie P's hat a mighty tug.  "One, two, three!"
 
Both women fly to either side of the room.  Mommy with the hat and Auntie P with a wad of gum smushed in her hair.
 
 
Upcoming log:
 
Previous log:  A Diabolical Bark 

 

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