A Diabolical Car Seat Battle

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 As Logged By:

 Agent Chase

 

 Mommy's ready to drive

To a luncheon date at The Hive.

What better way to make her frazzle

Than by letting my diabolical side dazzle?

 

Where, oh where could I be hiding?

Under the table or behind the dividing? 

Silly Mommy thinks she's won. 

The car seat battle is on! 

 

Up the stairs and down the hall.
 
Mommy huffs and puffs.  All while I play with my ball.
 
"Where are you!?"  She screeches.  Her freshly done hair starting to turn into a frizzy mess.  "We need to leave now."
 
Where am I hiding, you ask?
 
Why, right beside her purse.  The only place she'll never look.
 
 "I will find you, Chase!"  Mommy warns.  "This is THE place to eat lunch... apparently... and I promised Heidi that I would be there at one on the dot."
 
Wait...
 
We're going to be with Heidi?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
 
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.  
 
I tuck myself into a ball and roll on over.  I crawl and scoot, anything to get as far, far away as possible.  This little one will not do a luncheon party, date, or any hullabaloo.  Not with that crazy lady, Heidi.  I've known plenty of nice Heidi's, but this one is crazy.
 
CRAZY!
 
"Aha!  I found you."
 
Drat, my diaper gave me away.  Its swishing echoed way too loudly.  Now, Mommy has me.
 
"You sneaky little baby."  She bops me on the nose.  "You thought you could hide from me?  You can't hide from this mommy."
 
The hiding battle may be over, but not the diabolical war.  I still have a trick or two.  A plan of attack.  A way to stop this luncheon in its tracks! 
 
I could soil my diaper, spit up on my shirt.  
 
I could wail and cry.  I could teeth on her key chain of tie-dye.
 
But, one look at Mommy and I can see that she's ready for all of that.  No, I must think of something new.  Something I've never done before.
 
She opens the car door and gets ready to place me in my seat.  That's when an idea hits.
 
"What?!"  She seethes.  "You are not doing this.  No you are not!"
 
I've tightened and squeezed to keep myself straight.  This baby has gone solidly rigid.  I'll not sit in my car seat.
 
"Bend at the hips!"  Mommy pleads.  She tries to push me down, but I won't budge.  "Bend, please!"
 
Mommy gives a final shove.
 
OUCH!
 
That was too hard.
 
I frown my little mouth and glance up at her.  I give her the complete, 'why would you do that,' expression.
 
"Oh, no.  Chase, I'm so sorry."
 
My lower lip trembles.  My eyes close with tear drops forming.  One goes ahead and falls.
 
"WWWAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
 
"My baby," Mommy takes me in her arms and holds me close.  She's already crying, her mascara totally smudged.
 
She gets out her phone and immediately calls.
 
"Hello, Heidi.  Chase is hurt, we can no longer make it."
 
I pause in my crying and blink repeatedly at Mommy.
 
"Yes," she says after hanging up.  "I've cancelled."
 
Hurray!
 
I sniffle and snuffle and give her a big hug.
 
"Uh huh," she sighs, but then starts to laugh.  "Let's get your diabolical bottom inside."
 
 
Upcoming log:
 
Previous log:  A Diabolical Balloon  

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