A Diabolical Fanny Pack

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 As Logged By:

Agent Rose

 

 Daddy showed up at Chase's

With a fanny pack from his races.

A hairy, beer gut design!?

I want to cry and whine.

 

This cutie plans to get him back

When we head to the Sporting Shack. 

Mommy asks him to hold her purse

So, a baby doll can't be any worse!

 

Playtime at Chase's is always a blast, especially now that we have lined up the entire Garfield cast.
 
I squeeze Odie with a great big hug, then I plop him on top of Nermal and make a great, loud, "PPHHHHHFFFRRRRRTTTTTT!" with my mouth.
 
PPPPPPHHHHHHHFFFFFFFRRRRRRTTTTTHHHHHHHHPPPPPP!
 
Oopsies, I guess I had some that need to also come out.
 
DING DONG!
 
"Oh, good," Chase's mom says with a sigh.  "You're here just in time.  I think little Rosie just went potty."
 
In walks Daddy and I'm ready to grin.  But...  But...
 
BUT...
 
What do I see?
 
A huge, hairy gut sticking out and staring at me.
 
"AAAHHHHHHH!"  I scream and try to crawl away.  Blast this full diaper, I should have waited and gone on my potty.  I thought I was being diabolical.  I thought I would give Agent Chase's mommy a sight to behold.
 
But, no!
 
Now, I'm running away at a barely fast crawl.  Trying to never again have to see that weird looking gut!  The one sticking out and flapping about.  The one with the zipper that...
 
...
 
Wait a minute!
 
People's bodies don't have zippers!  What is going on here?  What is this foolishness?
 
I let Daddy catch me and carry me away to change my diaper.  With my foot, I bop the protruding looking gut only to find it is nothing of the sort at all.  
 
What is this thing?
 
"Oh, I see you've noticed my fanny pack," Daddy says with a laugh.  "Can you believe that I wore this during my race?  Definitely got a lot of confused looks."  He laughs at his supposedly bright idea.  
 
Oh, Daddy.  Oh, silly, silly Daddy.
 
You may be a dad and you may think this is funny, but I'm your daughter, even if only a baby.  This hairy gut looking bag is not okay.  It looks frightening and atrocious, and simply gross.
 
"Wait until I take you to the grocery!"  Daddy exclaims, suddenly excited.  "There are going to be so many people staring at us."
 
At us?  Oh, no.  Oh, no, no, no!
 
I won't be caught anywhere near your hairy gut fanny pack gear.  
 
This thing is going in the trash.
 
However!
 
Two hours later, and I'm still being haunted by that ugly fanny pack.  Yes, Daddy took us through the grocery and the post office.  Even inside the hair salon, which I really don't know why.  
 
Everywhere we went, he wanted everyone to think that he had a huge, hairy gut sticking out of his shirt.  
 
Oh, Daddy...
 
This is too absurd.
 
"I need you to take me to the Sporting Shack," Mommy stops Daddy in his tracks.  Still in the car after pulling in the driveway, Mommy rushes into the passenger seat and off we drive.  "UGH!  Get that ugly fanny pack off!  Did you really have to wear that all day?"
 
"What, it's funny!"  Daddy tries to explain.
 
That's when I look at my cute, little doll.  I do believe that two can play at this game.
 
I wait until the perfect moment.
 
"I'm going to take Rosie over to look at bathing suits," Mommy says once we're deep inside the Sporting Shack and I make my move.
 
"What do you want me to do with that?"  Daddy asks after I shove my cute, little doll at him.  I jerk my arm forward, making my message clear.
 
"I think she wants you to hold her doll," Mommy explains.
 
Daddy's face melts into one of horror.  "Can't you hold it?"
 
Yes, Mommy could.  But Mommy is not the one who dragged me around with a hairy gut looking fanny pack.  So, I shove my doll at him again.
 
"She wants you to hold it."
 
Daddy caves and hesitantly takes my little doll.  I give him a smile and he does a double take.  Oopsies, did he see my diabolical face?
 
"Nice doll," someone says after Mommy and I have left.
 
"No, no, it's not mine," Daddy tries to explain, but the damage is done as I hear the other guys snicker and chuckle.  Meanwhile, is that Daddy letting off a groan?
 
 
Upcoming log:  A Diabolical Bunny Hop
 

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