A Diabolical Balloon

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 As Logged By:

Agent West

 

All I did was catch a cold

That put the whole house on hold.

Mommy and Daddy will not rest

Until this diabolical dude feels his best.

 

But, now I'm stuck with a balloon

Pinned to me like an annoying buffoon.

Is there some way I can switch this?

I'll convince Mommy with a little kiss.

 

 "Is he fevered?!"
 
Daddy rushes to get the thermometer, while Mommy presses her mouth to my forehead.  
 
"I think he's normal, but he could be hiding it!"
 
"Is it possible to hide a fever?"  Daddy asks when he returns.
 
"With West, it is."
 
Thank you, Mommy.  Thank you for the compliment.  But, still.  It's only a cold.  A few sniffles, a stuffy nose.  Sure, I'm a little achy and my throat may be scratchy.  But, it's still only a cold.
 
"Should we take him to the doctor?"
 
"NO!  He laughed at us the last time West had a cold.  He wouldn't believe anything I said."
 
"Well," Daddy squeezes and scrunches his face in debate, "you did, kind of, tell him that West deliberately caught a cold from his friend, Rose, so that he'd get you sick."
 
Hehe haha.  I did. 
 
"Achoo."
 
"AHH!  He sneezed!  What should I do?"
 
Seriously, Mommy, just wipe my nose.  That's all you have to do.  Wipe my nose, give me a little kiss, and let this diabolical dude have some rest.
 
I am pretty sleepy.  I'm ready for some bedtime.  
 
However...
 
When I'm done sleeping, what do I find?
 
Balloons!
 
Balloons here and there.  Balloons all over my crib and everywhere.  There's even a balloon clipped to my pants.  Honestly, who thought to do that?
 
"How's my little baby doing?"  Mommy stretches her head in and gives me a grin.
 
Somehow, I'm not comforted.  Does Mommy really believe this cold was on purpose?  I'm a baby...
 
Alright, I'm a diabolical dude.
 
But, I still genuinely caught a cold this time.  It wasn't anything terrible, just a few sniffles.
 
"I made sure to get every balloon the grocery had.  What do you think, young man?  Are you finally starting to feel better?"
 
I blink once, I blink again.  Maybe all of this diabolical stuff is starting to drive her a little insane.
 
I look over at the balloon clipped to my pants.  A big ball with every Disney villain on it.  The helium has it tugging on my waistband.  How have I not floated to the ceiling yet?
 
I try to stand.  I grab onto the crib's sides, but this balloon keeps bopping my head.  Should I be surprised?
 
"What?  Are you wanting a hug?  I don't know, mister.  You've given me quite a scare."
 
Why else would I be lifting my arms, Mommy?  You really have gone off the deep end.  
 
I know, I'll do something really cute...
 
"Achoo!"  
 
Sniff, sniff.
 
Now, for the pout.
 
"Oh, I can't say, 'no,' to that."  Mommy caves.  She lifts me into her arms and presses her lips to my forehead.  "You definitely feel normal.  I'm glad about that."
 
Normal, yes.  Except for this balloon.  
 
Even now, it's bopping me.  A buffoon poking me non-stop. 
 
What should this diabolical dude do?
 
Mommy's waistband is just within reach.  If I can squeeze this clip off of me, maybe...  
 
There!   
 
I snugly secure it to Mommy's side.  Now let's see how she feels with a balloon bopping her all the time.
 
"No, no.  This balloon is specially for you."
 
Mommy tries to remove the clip, but I'm ready with another pout.  When that doesn't do it, I go in for the kill.  I give Mommy a little kiss, right on her nosey.  
 
"Oh, you're so sweet.  Well, I guess I can keep this balloon clipped to me.  Just this once, and only because you were sick.  And I didn't mind the cute kiss."
 
Bop!
 
Mommy blinks and tries to ignore it. 
 
Bop!
 
She blinks again, but keeps on walking.
 
Bop!
 
She's puckered her lips and twitching again.
 
Bop!
 
Ahh, It's nice to have things back to normal again.
 
Bop!
 
 
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