Mission Log of the Diabolical Baby Brigade

 As Logged By: Agent Rose Pretending to have a scary dream Is easy. All I have to do is scream! When Daddy comes to comfort me, I’ll have a toot as stinky as can be. But for this plan to truly work I have to drive them completely berserk! Into their bed I shall join them But, wait! Is this Daddy causing mayhem?     There’s nothing better than beauty sleep for this cuddly sweetie. Except, of course, tooty sleep that drives Mommy and Daddy crazy. I have waited patiently to get to two a.m. Now it’s time to begin my simply diabolical plan. Simply simple, simply cute, and simply, simply stinky. I take a deep breath, I open wide, and I let out the loudest scream. One that makes the kitty want to run and hide. “WAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! WAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!” “I’m coming, Rose. I’m coming,” Daddy calls from the hall. “Oof, ow!” He trips over a not-so-forgotten toy and falls. Into the room, Daddy rushes to get me. ...

 As Logged By: Agent Chase Mommy is looking really tired After so much baking left her wired. She most likely needs to rest, So I’ll put my diabolicalness to the test. Snoring so softly dear, dear Mommy? Pop! Pop! Pop! I attack like a tsunami. Oops, I guess she’s rather shaken. I wonder if she’ll make me some bacon!     Man, those are some deep circles under Mommy’s eyes. How long did she stay awake baking that cake? “I’m laying you down for an early nap, little one,” Mommy mumbles with her own eyes already half closed. She picks me up and looks around the living room. At the streamers and balloons she’s set all around in preparation for her friend’s party. “Whew, I think I’ll take a nap, too.” Sooooooooo, you are wanting to rest. Are you, Mommy? I can’t allow that!!! Yes! This is a perfect chance to up my diabolicalness. I must be stealthy, though, or the plan will never go through. To fool Mommy, I open my mou...

 As Logged By: Agent West Smashed, loaded, and coated to please I swallowed every bite of that grilled cheese. Now my tummy is nice and round. Tonight, I’ll be sleeping very sound. What to do until then, though? I should be diabolical. But, no. I’m way too full to do something dastardly. Maybe I’ll do some weeding, quite masterfully. Ahhh, the sweet, sweet bliss of a belly full of yummy grilled cheese. So smashed. So loaded. So coated…. Mmm. I guess I can forgive Mommy for eating the blendered beef stew. It was only the left overs, after all. Ooh, but I’ve fallen behind on being a diabolical dude. I might have done something truly disastrous. I almost did, if Mommy hadn’t jumped into action and made an awesomely delicious ham and avocado grilled cheese. Ahhh, good old Mommy. I should pay her back. What if I did something diabolical for her? I could borrow Agent Rose’s double stink bomb and send Mommy hea...

 As Logged By: Agent Rose I had a diabolical plan completely ready That would have left Mommy very unsteady, But something seems off. And it’s more than her cough. Are those tears running down her face? What should I do, Agent Chase? Mommy keeps crying and crying Rather than toot, I’ll do something more satisfying.     I’ve been a sweetie for far too long. Clogged toilets and throwing food are fun and all, but I need to do something truly diabolical. Or else I might not get to keep my title as an official Diabolical Drei agent. This little cutie has a stink attack ready to explode. I found a way to put two stink bombs in one, with an extra squeaker at the end to give the explosion an extra spicy finale. It’s all ready to go. Once it the timer goes off… kablam! Mommy will be left wibbling and wobbling all over the place. Maybe she’ll even fall on her back! Tiptoe, tiptoe. I’m coming for you, Mommy. Tiptoe, tiptoe....

 As Logged By: Agent Chase Mommy was sure that there were more Chocolate bars than five… now four! Who took the milk chocolate one? Could it be a little, diabolical someone? Mommy thinks she can catch me But I’m ready for her, she’ll see. Wait, what was that!? She, also, had a trick up her hat?     “Don’t even think about it, Chase,” Mommy says with her warning glare. How can I not think about it? It’s simply impossible! So many chocolate bars sitting side by side on the dinning table. So many to choose from. So much chocolate to consume. So yummy, yummy, yummy! “No, no, no.” Mommy snags me just as I am about to climb up on one of the dining chairs. “These are for the cake I’m making. I need every single one.” Every. Single. One! I set my own glare, one that perfectly mimics dear, old Mommy’s. Who would buy so much delicious chocolate and not get an extra one for an innocent, little baby. Okay, more diabolical than innocen...

 As Logged By: Agent West Agent West's Mom I sneaked a bite or a few Of West’s favorite dish: blendered beef stew Now he’s found out And I’m in trouble. No doubt! Time for this mommy to make a dish That is sure to taste absolutely delish. A grilled cheese will calm his fit. Smash it, load it, and coat it.   Smashed, Loaded, and Coated Grilled Cheese A savory plate of gooey satisfaction   Makes 1   Ingredients:    A serving of tomato soup - enough to coat this sucker 1 avocado (2 if you plan to go the southern route and have already gotten out the tortilla chips to snack as you cook) spritz lemon juice - just a few drops pinch salt 1 Tablespoon butter (Possibly more if the bread ends up being extra thirsty – you’ll understand later) 2 slices cheese 1 slice of ham (Ooh, I do like ham.  Get more if you want to snack) A bag of tortilla chips (Totally optional, but who am I kidding? I’m going to be snacking.) Am I forg...

 As Logged By: Agent Rose It wasn’t originally the plan But it certainly worked. Oh, man! Being diabolical is sometimes quite easy Especially when your tummy is feeling queasy. Once I was able to eat again I gobbled down enchiladas with cayenne, refried beans, and lots of applesauce. Ooh, I ate that sauce like it was the boss!     Finally! I can eat! Ooh, that Agent Chase is lucky that Mommy has some applesauce on hand. A bowlful of that will calm any temper of mine as quick as flipping a dime out of your hand.  “Waahhh!” Hurry it up, Mommy. This little baby is HUNGRY. Mommy whips through the fridge. I watch with glee as she heats up the left overs from last night. Cheesy enchiladas, spiced with cayenne pepper. My poor, little tummy was wanting some so bad, but those cabbage and beans fumes were still making the thought of eating too difficult to stand. Now, I’m going to gobble them all down. Hurry! Isn’t there some...