A Diabolical Valentine Attack

-

 As Logged By:

 Agent Rose

 

Cousin Molly is being nice?

I'd rather trust a pack of mice.

Chocolates just for me?

Is this really what I see?

 

Delectable chocolates look so yummy!

Gurgle, gurgle goes my tummy.

 Should I enjoy this chocolatey snack?

Or has Molly planned a sneaky attack!? 

 

 "Happy Valentine's Day!  Don't you look adorable, little Rosie."
 
Adorable?  This sweetie is dressed all in pink.  I could manage that, but not the hearts sticking up from my head.
 
"Yeah," Cousin Molly snickers to her friends.  "An adorable, pink little alien."
 
"Ha ha!"  Laugh her friends.
 
You better watch it, Cousin Molly, or I might have a diabolical valentine for you.  What should I give her?  Hmm...  A stink bomb?
 
No, Agent Chase already uses too many of those.
 
A spritz from my stinky teddy bear?
 
Can't, Daddy confiscated that.  Don't worry, I won't let my teddy go far, I already have a plan to get my cutie squeezy back.  Only next time, I'll make sure not to squeeze his stink right in Daddy's mouth.
 
What should I give to send Cousin Molly crying?  I can't think of anything, this diabolical sweetie has nothing!
 
"Molly, don't you have a present for our sweet baby?"
 
"Yes, I do.  Thank you for reminding me, Auntie P."  Cousin Molly sets her stare on me.  A twitch of her smile, an odd curl to her lips.  What is she planning?  Just so long as it doesn't hiss.
 
I start to shake my head, anything to tell Mommy not to take me over to her.  But, those darned hearts get in my way.  One flies in my face, the other smacks me in the head.
 
"Here you go, my innocent, little cousin," Molly mocks before beaming at me.  "I know how much you just love your chocolates."
 
Chocolates?
 
For me?
 
Is Cousin Molly being nice?  I'd rather trust a pack of mice!
 
Wait, they're not chocolate covered mice, are they?
 
"Go ahead, Rosie," Molly insists.  "Have one, or all.  I'm sure you'll love them."
 
Now, this diabolical sweetie is not a new born babe.  I've been around enough months to know when I'm being played.  Something is up here.  Something is going on.  Cousin Molly has clearly planned something and she thinks she is winning!
 
 I play along.  I grab a chocolate, but how am I going to fake a nibble when Molly is watching like a hawk on a mouse?
 
"Look, Molly!  Caleb got me flowers."
 
Molly's distracted.  This is my chance.  I drop the chocolate on Mommy's plate, then slam my hand to my face.
 
I start to pretend to chew that chocolate just in time for Molly to look back.  She widens her grin to a Grinchy green stretch.
 
"Do you like it, Rosie?  I bet you will."  
 
She waltzes away with a maniacal laugh.  It's quite a good one, I'll give her that.  Meanwhile, this baby has a plan of her own.  I'll get back at Molly and snag a point for being extra diabolical.
 
I grab another chocolate and I give an adorably toothless grin.  
 
"Why, little Rosie, are you offering me a chocolate?"  Auntie P can't resist.  She sweeps the chocolate off of my palm and devours it in less than a second, with hopes for one more.
 
I don't just grab one, I grab two.  One more for Auntie P and one for Uncle Fred.
 
Look everyone, look at how generous I am.
 
Except...
 
Except...
 
Mommy's catching on.
 
"I've never seen you be so generous with chocolate," she whispers to me and raises a brow.  "What are you up to?  Why are you giving away so many of these chocolates?" 
 
PPPHHHHFFFFRRRRRTTTTTHHHHHHPPPPPTTTT!
 
"Ugh!"  Auntie P suddenly screams.  "That just came out of me!"
 
 PPPHHHHFFFFRRRRRTTTTTHHHHHHPPPPPTTTT!
 
"Oh, no!"  Uncle Fred cries.  "What have I eaten?  My pants are fried!"
 
"What?"  Cousin Molly croaks, her mouth falling open and her eyes starting to grow wide. 
 
Not as wide as Mommy's, who's finally caught on.  "Who gave my baby these chocolates!??!?!?!?" 
 
I offer a smile and point at Cousin Molly.  Then, to perfect my act, I turn that smile into a frown and start to rub my tummy.  Sure, I never ate a single chocolate in that box, but that doesn't mean I still can't make a perfect...
 
PPPPHHHHHHHRRRRTTTTTHHHHHPPPPPPTTTTT!
 
"MOLLY!  Guess what you're cleaning up!" 
 
 
Upcoming Log:
 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Diabolically Messy Microphone

-
Image
 As Logged By: Agent Rose   Mommy won't stop squealing. She hasn't noticed how I'm feeling.  Go away and let me rest I tell you I'm not feeling my best.   "Try it," she insists.  What will happen if she persists? A new microphone? If only she'd have known.     "AH!  It's here!"   Oh, please.  Be quiet, Mommy.   "Rosie!  Did you hear!  It's here!  It's here!"   Please, for the love of poopy, be quiet.     Can't she see that there are circles under my eyes?  That my glow has dulled?  That my oomph has gone kapoof?   Mommy, stop running around and take a look at me.  Feel my forehead, offer me a drink.  I'm sick I tell you.  I need some rest.  So, please...   STOP YELLING, YOU CRAZY LADY!   "Ooh, I've been waiting for it to arrive, so I can set it up," Mommy explains without a second's notice of how I'm clearly sick.  "Did you know that I used to ...
Read more

Diabolical New Year's Resolutions

-
Image
 As Logged By: Agent Rose The new year has sprung at last With a party that was a blast. What to do with so much cake? That Mommy clearly didn't need to bake. The time has come for this undercover sweetie To be diabolical with Mommy's sweet tea. It needs a little extra flavor. Some added carrot that she can savor.  What a party!  What a blast!   We rang in the new year.  I partied so hard that I ran out of toots!   Now, morning has come and I am ready for some applesauce.   When I go into the kitchen, however, I am met with a sight that has me gasping in awe.   How many cakes did Mommy make?  Sure, we sang and cheered.  Sure, we invited family and friends.  Sure...   But, it wasn't that many people.   Cakes are stacked here.  Cakes are stacked there.  When did she make a double layer red velvet cake?  I don't remember seeing that last night.   And I thought the piles of Christmas cookies was too much. ...
Read more

The Story of a Maniacal Plan and a Diabolical Old Man

-
Image
 As Logged By: Agent Chase    Here is a story of excellence, A true master of eloquence!  One where people will gladly say  That diabolicalness can save the day!   A crazed man with a maniacal plan? He's nothing compared to this old man. An old man with a cane? That can only mean one thing!   Here is a story for you.   One starring a previous diabolical baby, who grew and grew.  Now, he's an old man, but that will never stop his diabolical jam.   Once upon a time...   Two men stood at the edge of an outdoor shopping mall.  “Are you sure you want to do this, Ralph? It’s only fifteen degrees.” “All the better! The chocolate will harden before these Christmas shoppers know what hit them!” Ralph sized up his soon-to-be victims. Especially, Henry’s Chocolate Emporium. “That Henry thinks he’s so special because he won the confection competition. I’ll show him! No one beats me.” “Weren’t you dead last?” “Quiet!” Ralph ...
Read more