A Diabolical Murder Mystery

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 As Logged By:

Agent Chase

 

A Mommy's party sounds like fun

Until a dastardly dead is done.

Giggles and laughter all around,

Meanwhile Daddy's lying on the ground.

 

 Someone's about to break a sweat.

For one should never forget

That murder takes the cake

For the ladies that bake! 

 
 Hurry, scurry, go, go ,go!
 
Mommy's rushing all around.
 
Cleaning the kitchen, sweeping the floors.  Turn on the vacuum and run it some more!
 
"They'll be here any minute.  Does the house look okay?"
 
Daddy glances up from his book.  "Everything looks great.  Why don't you take a second to relax?"
 
"Do you remember what you need to do?"  Mommy bulges her eyes as she asks, to which Daddy gives a hearty nod.  Still, Mommy has to confess, "I'm so nervous.  I've never done anything like this."
 
"Just relax," Daddy begs.
 
DING DING DONG!
 
Though I prepare for Mommy to scream, instead she freezes perfectly still.  Her face the same as the last time I doused her with a perfectly stinky stink bomb.
 
"Don't worry, I'll get the door."  Daddy stands up when Mommy still has yet to move.  
 
What is going on?  
 
Should I prepare a stink bomb?  
 
Well, duh!  A diabolical mastermind should always have a stink bomb hiding in wait.  While Mommy and Daddy greet their guests, I sneak away and crawl to the closet.  The one in my room.  I reach to the back corner, I feel for the secret box.
 
There!
 
I tuck the little gem into the pocket of my pants and crawl my way back.  Once there, what do I find?
 
A mountain of cakery, a hoard of cookies.  Desserts piled one on top of the other.
 
It's a party!
 
I make the perfect, lovable baby face and Mommy lifts me into her arms.  Yes, I'll try this and that.  Ooh, maybe some of those as well.  Too bad the other agents aren't here.  They would love...
 
"Oh, no!  There's been a murder!"  
 
All the other moms turn to the living room.  There on the floor is Daddy.
 
My very own Daddy!
 
With MY foam sword sticking out of his armpit!
 
NOOOOOOOOOOO!
 
Daddy has been murdered!?!?!?!?!?  Who could have done this?
 
"Oh, dear!"  Mommy says in almost a mocking tone.  Does that mean she's in on it?  Did she commit this murderous crime?  "We have to solve this murder mystery before the police arrive."
 
Instead of getting serious, however, half of the moms start to giggle.  The others gaggle and a few reach for a few more treats!
 
What is going on here!!!!????
 
"You were the one who once had an affair!"  Someone declares.
 
"Yes, but not with him."
 
The silly chatter lasts what feels like hours.  Possibly less than ten minutes, but I'm not counting.  All I care about is finding out whoever put my foam sword in Daddy's armpit!
 
"Wait a minute!"  Mommy suddenly announces.  "I just remembered that he picked something up from the grocery store.  A special treat to celebrate this baking club's meeting tonight."
 
Baking club?
 
Since when has Mommy been in a baking club?
 
"Well let's see what he bought," another woman says, apparently more interested in a confection than solving a murder.  I give her a glaring eye, should I toss my stink bomb to her?
 
 "Here it is!"  Mommy declares and sets a pretty box on the kitchen counter.  With everyone watching, she reaches inside.  Out comes a cake of exactly.  One exactly the same...
 
I look over at the table.  To the cake that Mommy's friend, Jessica, said she made.
 
Both are identical.  Both look the same.  Both are the same size, same icing, same glaze!
 
"Jessica, you bragged about having made your cake from scratch.  How is it that your cake matches this one exact?"  Mommy asks, that same mocking tone coming back into play.
 
"Okay, so I did it!  I murdered your husband.  He caught me at the store buying a cake.  I never thought he'd pick a matching one.  When I got here, however, he proudly told me that he had, all to prove that I am a hack!"  Jessica confesses all in one breath.  "I couldn't let him do that.  I had to stop him.  Yes, I murdered him.  I did it in the name of cake!"
 
All the women burst out laughing.  All but me.  
 
I glare at this Jessica.  She's the reason Daddy is lying on the floor.  I reach into my pocket.  I grab a stink bomb.  I throw with all my might.
 
"Okay, dead body, you can get up."
 
 Huh?
 
"AHHHHHHHH!"
 
"Chase!"  Daddy yells from the living room floor.  "I thought I got rid of all of those."
 
Silly Daddy.  Silly, clearly not dead Daddy.  You'll never find my stink bomb stash.
 
 
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