A Diabolical Family Picture

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 As Logged By:

Agent Chase

 

I'm dressed in fancy bows

Atop a great fake rose.

Family picture day is here.

Am I supposed to cheer?

 

I'd rather focus on the flowerbed

Than the camera straight ahead.

There seems to be a cow,

That has learned to meow. 

 

Agent West is in for a diabolical surprise.  
 
His family may be vacationing on a farm somewhere in the middle of nowhere.  That doesn't mean he had to trick his parents into convincing my parents to do their annual Christmas picture on that farm, too.
 
Now, look at me!
 
I'm in a dress that is puffier than a bowl of Cocoa Puffs.  A ribbon here and a ribbon there, not to mention the one in my non existent hair.
 
"Alright, I want you two on either side of the rose and your baby placed in the bed inside it," the photographer declares as he waves his hands.  One for my parents to follow and one, apparently, to direct me.  
 
Really?
 
PPPHHHHHFFFFFFRRRRRTTTTHHHHHPPPPTTTTT!
 
"Chase!"  Mommy hisses while the photographer crinkles his nose.  "I just changed you not two minutes ago.  You can't possibly have that much..."
 
PPPHHHHHHFFFFFFRRRRRTTTTHHHHHPPPPPTTTTT!!!
 
Yes, Mommy.  Oh, yes I can.
 
You put this diabolical mastermind in a dress that itches.  Not my favorite one with the horsey painted on, but this crazy mockery of bows, ribbons, and sequins.  That deserves another round of poopy.
 
PPHHHHFFFFRRRTTTTHHHPPPPTTT!!!  
 
Mommy rushes to change me.  "Chase, you nearly ruined your brand new dress," she says.
 
"MEOW!"
 
I know Mommy is still talking, but I can't focus on her complaints.  There's something interesting in that meowing.
 
"MEOW!"
 
That sounds like a cat I've never heard before.  Oddly deep, and rumbly.  I must see this feline, is this why Agent West convinced my parents to come here?
 
"MEOW!"  Comes another deep rumble.
 
Mommy rushes back and plops me in the center of the fake, fabric rose, but the photographer is paying no attention.
 
"Did you hear a cat?  I swear I heard one?"  He asks while looking about.
 
"Maybe," Mommy offers with a shrug.  One that Daddy matches.  "I was rushing to change our little Chasey."
 
The photographer stops and chews furiously on his bottom lip.  "Very well, let's get these pictures underway.  I have an appointment after you that has requested a bovine be in the picture with them."
 
A bovine?
 
Oh, yes.  A cow.
 
That is when I glance out the window and see an adorable, long haired one nibbling on some hay.  I point outside and Mommy blankly nods.
 
"Yes, Chasey.  There's a cute, little cow out there.  Maybe we can pet it after the pictures are over."
 
But, I want to pet that cow now.  Should I threaten another messy diaper?  Should I puke all over this fake, fake rose.  Should I...
 
"MEOW!"
 
Huh? 
 
"This can't be!"  The photographer screams furiously.  He runs away from his camera, much to Mommy and Daddy's saddened sighs.  "I ordered all cats be removed from here.  I'm terribly allergic, you see."
 
"MEOW!"
 
What the?
 
"MEOW!" 
 
"Where is it!?"  The photographer screams.  He's grabbing his hair and running here and there.
 
Meanwhile, I'm locked on that interesting cow.  Is it just me, or did that cow open its mouth and out came a meow? 
 
"MEOW!"
 
"AAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!  Where is that cat!?"  The photographer runs from the barn, his screeching echoing near and far.   
 
Yes!  Yes!  It is the cow! 
 
"Do you think he's coming back?"  Daddy asks quietly, never noticing how much I'm pondering. 
 
A cow that meows?  That can't possibly be...
 
Wait, wait, wait!  Haha, hehe!  I get it, Agent West.  I get it finally. 
 
Now, the question stands:
 
How did a baby train a cow? 
 
 
Upcoming Log:
 

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