A Diabolically Popped Rib

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 As Logged By:

 Agent Chase

 

 Daddy's stuck on the couch.

A popped rib bone?  Ooh, ouch!

"Be nice to Daddy," Mommy warns.

But, I like to take the bull by the horns.

 

 Poke, tickle, stinky toot.

One that smells like a mildewed boot.

Tears of joy or tears of pain?

Okay, we'll snuggle and watch the rain.

 

"Ugh, it hurts to move," Daddy groans as he inches toward the couch.  One step, pause, two step, pause, three step...........LONG PAUSE.  "All I did was laugh, then I was in pain."
 
"At me," Mommy reminds him.  "You were laughing at me."
 
"You dropped the butter and tooted when you bent over to pick it up.  It was funny."  Daddy's defense ends real quick when he tries to laugh again only to wince in pain.  "Ow!"
 
 I keep my laughter silent.  Too bad I was diabolically plotting and missed that.  Mommy always blushes and makes the silliest embarrassed face when she accidentally lets out a toot.
 
Mommy rolls her eyes, but still comes to Daddy's side.  Taking his arm, she helps him to sit down.
 
"There, how's that?" 
 
"I feel like long fingers are gripping my side and squeezing."
 
WHAT!?  As Mommy leaves to call the doctor, I crawl over and look for these infamous fingers.  I climb up to the couch and take a peek.
 
But...
 
Nothing is there.  
 
Where are these fingers that are gripping Daddy's side?  That are making it difficult for him to breathe.  That are keeping him in pain. 
 
"The doctor says it sounds like a popped rib bone.  No doubt, from you laughing so hard.  At me." 
 
"How is that possible?"  Daddy gasps.
 
Mommy just shrugs and says, "We'll find out at the appointment tomorrow.  Until then, you are to take it light.  Just sit and relax."  She turns a hard look at me.  "Chase, be nice to Daddy.  Even if he laughed at me."
 
Clever Mommy, you know me too well.  You don't need to worry.  This diabolical mastermind will be good.  I would never go after Daddy when he's injured.
 
"Boo!"
 
I jump and spin around.
 
Daddy points at me and laughs.  "Haha, got you!"
 
Though he grips his side, he keeps on laughing.  So, you want to laugh at my expense?  Have you forgotten that this delightful baby can be a little bit devious?
 
I scoot over closer to Daddy, offering a smile as if I'm laughing too.  Ignorant of my plan, Daddy keeps on laughing.  He laughs, he chuckles.
 
POKE!
 
"Ow!  Chase, you jabbed your finger right into my rib bone."
 
Oh, no.  Did I hit the tender spot?  
 
Here, let me ease your side stitches with a few tickles.
 
"Haha!  OW!  Oh, Chase.  Stop!  Please, I'm begging you."
 
Gentle scratches all across his torso.  Here comes a few more.  Now, prepare for a grand toot of a finale!
 
PPPHHHHHRRRRRRFFFFFTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!
 
"UGH!  Honey!  Chase tooted right in my face!" 
 
"Oh, no."  Mommy comes in hardly looking concerned.  "I bet it smells really, really bad."
 
"Yes!  Like a rubber boot that has mildewed.  Please, can you help me?"
 
"Have you said, 'sorry,' for laughing at me?"
 
And me!
 
"Okay, okay.  I'm sorry I laughed at you.  I'm sorry I laughed at you, too, Chase."
 
Mommy and I exchange glances.  Apology accepted.  You are forgiven.  
 
Over to the couch, Mommy comes.  The stink has faded.  There's no more to be done.  Onto the couch, she sits.  Her on one side of Daddy and me on the other.
 
Outside raindrops have started to fall.  The three of us snuggle, looking out the window, and delight in the simplicity of it all.
 
 
 

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