Mission Log of the Diabolical Baby Brigade

 As Logged By: Agent Chase   The mommies have dressed us as chickens! Meanwhile, the cold in my head thickens.  All I want to do is sleep! I'm not interested in making a peep.   Trunk or treat is the new in I don't even know where to begin. Sniffle, sniffle, snot, snot. Inspector Gadget is the hot spot.    How grand...   "Achoo!"   This baby is, now, dressed like a chicken.   "Achoo!"   From what I hear, Agent West and Agent Rose are too.  Apparently, our mommies all got together and thought it would be cute, or funny... cute and funny to dress us babies as one, big flock.   This calls for a serious diabolical plan...   "Achoo!"   Maybe some other time.   "Achoo!"    "Uh oh.  Sounds like someone has the sniffles."   This is more than sniffles!  How can a diabolical mastermind think when there's a vise squeezing around her head?   Well, a vise and a hood designed to look like a chicke...

 As Logged By: Agent West    Here comes Cousin JimJim Munching on a spicy Slim Jim. He thinks he can scare me? Not this diabolical dude, you'll see.   But, I have quite the scare For Cousin JimJim, if he'll dare. Scream, scream here and there. Cousin JimJim screaming everywhere!    "Guess what today is?"   Mommy throws a sickly sweet grin.  All the while, I'm staring at the hairy mole glued to her chin.     Time to get that removed,  I would say.  Too bad I haven't learned to speak other than diabolical baby squeaks.     "It's the family Halloween party.  I have the cutest costume for you."   NO!   NO!   NNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!   I may be adorable.  I may be abominable.  I may be really good at blowing spit bubbles.  BUT THIS DIABOLICAL DUDE DOES NOT DO CUTE!   Especially, with a certain Cousin JimJim coming as well.  He'll make sure I'm the center of the l...

 As Logged By: Agent Rose    Just a simple rhyme. Beans that don't impress. Barely even sweet, Try adding a beet. Perfect Yumminess!   Just a simple rhyme. Toots are never gone. Bittersweet cookies, Hiding all the zucchies. Add in a fake yawn.    Just a simple rhyme. A diabolical time. Beauty and the beans.   A picnic in the park is what it's all about!  Nothing is better than a family reunion full of food.   There's beans, cookies, beans, hot dogs, beans, fruit salad, beans, and more beans.   Yes, there are that many bowls and plates of beans on the table.  With so many beans displayed about, you know this diabolical cutie has a plan ready to pop out.   I can't complain.  I love my beans.  I do, I do, I do.   "Here's some cut up hot dogs and some baked beans," Daddy says as he carefully carries the paper tray to where this diabolical beauty is sitting in the comfy shade.  "I know you pointed at all of the p...

 As Logged By:  Agent Chase   Crazy Heidi has come and gone After yelling like Star Trek's crazy Khan. Did my diabolical scheme task her? Ha!  Of that I'm sure!   Yummy pasta for dinner. Chocolate cake is always a winner. Found a container for leftovers? Uh oh, where's the lid with the clovers?    "I don't know what to think!"   Daddy helplessly watches Mommy as she throws her arms into the air.  "At least your friend isn't complaining about everything anymore."   "That's because she isn't here!"   Even I have to crawl a step back after that loud wail.  Mommy takes a few deep breaths, she glances at the half empty wine bottle, and she takes another breath.  A really, really big one.   "I still don't understand how Chase managed to switch the wine out for vinegar."   "Are you sure the wine wasn't bad?"  Daddy asks with a lift of his brow.  "How could a baby manage to do something as crazy as that?...

 As Logged By:  Agent West   What's that jumping up and down? It's making it impossible to keep my frown. "Oo, oo.  Ee, ee.  Ah, ah." I cave with a smile.  Then, tata!?   Wait, take me back. I don't want a snack. I want to see more of that! Uh, oh.  What have I done with my hat?    Why have you brought me here?   This place smells like a zoo!   Oh, poopy diapers...   "Welcome to the zoo!"  A recorded announcer repeats over the speakers.  "Please enjoy the view of turtles, anteaters,..."   Oh, oh, poopy of pooped diapers.   How conflicted can this diabolical dude feel!?  I love going to the zoo, but I'm supposed to be grumpy, snotty, and mad.   I had a diabolical scheme.  A spit bubble perfect of an idea.  I was going to make a mess like never before.  Strewn toilet paper, stink bombs set and ready to toot, and splattered putty everywhere!   Now, what do I do?   "Look, ...

 As Logged By: Agent Rose    This plan took some time To come to its prime. So long that I forgot, Until Mommy screamed a lot.   What's this inside the pocket That makes Mommy jump like a rocket? Look at that fuzzy, black hair. It is growing everywhere!    What is that noise waking me from my midday nap?   VROOM, VROOM!  SREECH!  THUNK!   There is no way that Mommy will hear me, even if I scream my loudest baby wail.  Fine, fine.  I'll get up.   Up and over I roll and crawl all the way to the door.  The sound is coming from across the hall, so I continue to crawl.   And, what do I see when I make it in there?   A great big behind sticking up in the air!   Oh, wait.  That's Mommy's rear end.  Sticking half out of the closet.  What is she doing in there?   VROOM, VROOM!  SREECH!  THUNK!   Out from the closet she tosses a bag.  One of hers from her hiking days. ...

 As Logged By:  Agent Chase   Mommy loves being neat and tidy Especially when getting a visit from Heidi. Each lid is in its place. Every container with its own space.   What kind of baby would I be If I didn't have a diabolical spree? Hide one here, hide one there. Mommy's going to search everywhere!   Mommy runs from the living room to the kitchen, hurriedly tidying.     "What time is it?"  She wails from the bathroom, where she's perfecting the downward folded arrow on the toilet paper.   "You've still got half an hour," Daddy groans.  "Please relax.  I thought you said that Heidi was your friend."   "She may be my friend, but that doesn't stop her from peering all over the house and commenting on everything she sees that's not up to her standards.  Ugh!  She never fails to find something wrong.  Well," Mommy lets out an insanely diabolical laugh.  "Not this time!"    A pillow on the sofa i...