A Diabolical Tea Time

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 As Logged By:

Agent Rose 

 

 I love to drink tea diabolically,

Though some will call it, 'comically.'

Who might say such a dastardly thing?

The one with the untied shoestring.

 

Cousin Molly is hardly the best

There is simply no contest.

I drink tea in the cutest way

And I always have the final say. 

 

 I do love my tea time.
 
I do, I do, I do.
 
Get me some British biscuits!  Those yummy cookies covered in chocolate.  I am ready to dunk every single one in my cup of Oolong.  
 
"Rosie's face has chocolate smeared all over it," Cousin Molly points and laughs.
 
"Now, now, Molly.  She is only a baby after all."
 
That's right.  A baby...  A diabolical one.  
 
I snap a biscuit chunk off and give it a toss.  Up it flies and down it dives.  Straight into Molly's tea cup.
 
SPLASH!
 
"Ugh, she got tea all over me!"
 
To make it fair, I snap and toss a few more chunks.  
 
SPLISH, SPLASH, SPLOSH!   
 
One in Mommy's, one for me, and one especially in Auntie P's.
 
 "Oh, poop on a stick!"  Auntie P shouts, giving me a bit of a shock.  "Now I've got tea all over me and melted chocolate in my tea cup.  Yuck!"  Instantly she realizes that we're in a tea room.  She shrinks down and looks around.  "Did anyone hear me?"
 
"I think we're in the clear," Mommy assures, trying to fish out the soggy bit of biscuit from her cup.
 
"Still, I can't drink this tea now.  It has melted chocolate in it.  What should I do with it?" 
 
I reach out my hands.  Please, Auntie P, give the tea cup to me.  I don't mind some extra chocolate.  
 
"Aww, look at that face," Auntie P says as she begins to melt.  "Who could say, "no," to that?"
 
"I could," Molly grumbles.  "She's not cute, she's being ridiculous.  This is supposed to be a formal tea time and she's turning it into a hogwash of comics."
 
"Molly!"  Auntie P and Mommy gasp in unison.  "That was very, very mean." 
 
"I don't care!"  She loudly declares and I set my glare. 
 
"Shh, we don't want to get into trouble with the manager," Auntie P says as she looks about.  The small tea room is nearly empty.  Only a few older ladies, who seem too interested in some murder mystery book than the tea and chocolate covered biscuit cookies in front of them.  "Now, fix your shoelace, Molly, and sit up straight.  We need to appear at least somewhat polite."
 
Molly does as she's told, but that doesn't stop her from giving me a stare that is quite bold.  
 
Lifting her chin, she snivels is a clearly fake British dialect, "I can drink tea absolutely beautifully, Auntie P.  But, if it's the management you are afraid of, you might want to put your focus on correcting that one."  She, then, points a bony finger straight at my gaping mouth.
 
Oh, really!?
 
I may be a baby, a diabolical one, but this little cutie is about to put her adorable beauty on full display.
 
I straighten my back.  I pat my hat.  I grab my tea cup and tip it just enough.
 
SSLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUURRRRRPPPPP!
 
My slurp is so amazing that even the waitress has to pause.
 
While she's watching, I daintily grab a pit of biscuit and dip it into my tea.  
 
Dip, dip, dip
 
And Crunch!
 
SSLLLLLLUUUUUUUURRRRRRRPPPPPPP!
 
I finish it off with another sip of delicious Oolong.
 
"Oh, your little girl is so adorable," the waitress coos.  "I've never seen someone drink tea so beautifully."
 
"WHAT!??!"  Molly shrieks, sending the ladies on the other side of the room toppling.
 
Dear, dear Molly.  You should know better than to mess with this diabolical baby.
 
SSSLLLLLLLLLLLLLUUUUUURRRRRRPPPPP!
 
 
Upcoming Log:  A Diabolical Drop
 

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