Mission Log of the Diabolical Baby Brigade

As Logged By:  Agent West    How can something so sticky and thick Become delicious and fluffy so quick?  Don't touch the bread dough? What if I give it a little throw?   Gloop, gleep, glop! This dough's about to pop. Now, it's stuck to the door. Uh oh, some has fallen on the floor.    "Why do I have to stir with a wooden spoon?"  Mommy huffs and puffs as she stirs and stirs.   "I don't know," her friend shrugs and takes another look at the recipe book.   I, meanwhile, sneak my way across the floor while crawling on all fours.  I know I have a stink jar hidden in here somewhere.  Just wait until I open it, Mommy and her friend will forget all about wooden spoons.    They'll run for their lives at the stench once it hits.  They'll scream and wail, as my stink attacks never fail.   SPLOT!     "Oops.  Sorry, West," Mommy sheepishly says.  "I guess I stirred this dough a little too hard....

 As Logged By:  Agent Rose   Tooth brushing time is fun Who doesn't love toothpaste flavored like gum? Now my toothpaste has been swapped. And tastes like something Gobbles glopped.   This diabolical cutie will stop it, Without even throwing a fit. Something odd in Daddy's coffee? Or, possibly, all over Mommy's toffee.    "My, my, Rosie.  Do you have another tooth coming in?"   I smile wide.  You bet I do, Mommy!   "That will be tooth number four," she gasps in awe, unable to believe how much I'm growing up.     However, I'm done with her oohing and awing.  Get that toothpaste on the brush and get to work making these baby pearls sparkly.     I'm ready to taste some bubblegum!     "Here you go," Mommy says and scrubs the tiny bristles against my teeth.  I instantly retract and give her a look of disgust.  "What?"  She asks as if she can't understand.   That is not bubb...

 As Logged By:  Agent Chase    Daddy's stuck on the couch. A popped rib bone?  Ooh, ouch! "Be nice to Daddy," Mommy warns. But, I like to take the bull by the horns.    Poke, tickle, stinky toot. One that smells like a mildewed boot. Tears of joy or tears of pain? Okay, we'll snuggle and watch the rain.   "Ugh, it hurts to move," Daddy groans as he inches toward the couch.  One step, pause, two step, pause, three step...........LONG PAUSE.  "All I did was laugh, then I was in pain."   "At me," Mommy reminds him.  "You were laughing at me."   "You dropped the butter and tooted when you bent over to pick it up.  It was funny."  Daddy's defense ends real quick when he tries to laugh again only to wince in pain.  "Ow!"    I keep my laughter silent.  Too bad I was diabolically plotting and missed that.  Mommy always blushes and makes the silliest embarrassed face when she accidentally lets out...

 As Logged By:   Agent West Agent West's Mom   Here comes dinner time And I haven't got any wine. Chocolate will easily suffice  With dinner easily nice.   No time for glitz and glam I've, also, run out of ham. There's always spaghetti waiting Yes, I think that'll be just the thing!   Diabolically Delicious and Easy Spaghetti  Tomato creaminess on noodles    Makes:  Enough for a toddler and a snack for you   Ingredients: 4 oz spaghetti broken into thirds 1 good pinch salt - don't hold back  1 cup pasta sauce - whatever kind you want   And, now, for my secret ingredient.  Are you ready for this?   2 Tablespoons salted butter   Directions: Boil enough water to cook your pasta.  If you have some extra broth, toss some splashes in the pot as well.  It'll add more flavor and some healthy nutrients, too.     Now, as you wait for that water to boil, is the perfect time to ponder the all imp...

 As Logged By: Agent Rose    Birthday parties are the best! I especially love going with Agent West. But, if today's party is for Auntie P, Then why is the costume on me?   Gotten a laugh at my expense has she? Dear, oh dear, silly Auntie P.    She's forgotten I'm a diabolical cutie Capable of making stinky pirate booty.    "Ahoy, ye land lover!"  Auntie P shouts with a mock growl.  "Where be the prisoner?"   "Oh, Aunt P," Mommy chuckles, "you've really outdone yourself this time."   Auntie P shoves her plastic sword straight at Mommy.  "No more dodging the question.  Where be the prisoner?"    "Right here," Daddy intervenes before things get out of hand with Auntie P.  He lifts me into the air, showing off the pirate costume he made me wear.   I must admit, this diabolical cutie didn't mind the outfit at first.  A pirate baby, how diabolically adorable!  But, then they clipped a toy parr...