Diabolical cabbage and beans

 As Logged By:

Agent Chase



The Puppy

The Puppy was right, I admit

There was no way to go through with it.

Getting everyone to eat cabbage and beans

Would have been impossible, by all means.

However, we’ve devised another plan.

In this temporary truce between dog and man.

The Puppy has many friends, you see.

Who are willing to eat cabbage and beans, whoo wee!



For weeks I have been saving every scrap of Mommy’s famous cabbage and beans dish, keeping none for myself.  (Not that I want any after the last gas catastrophe.)

The toy bin is filled to the rim and it’s starting to smell, but the Puppy reassures me that his friends will still dig in.

“Oh, Marge, this was a wonderful idea,” one of Mommy’s friends says as she waves her hand around. “A block party for everyone and their dog. How did you think of it?”

“It’s the funniest thing. I saw Chase playing with a magazine that happened to have an article about throwing one of these.”


More like, I tore the article from the magazine, crumpled it into a ball, and threw the whole thing right at Mommy’s head. How else was I going to get the hint across?

Never mind about that.

I need to focus. For we are at the crucial moment!

Come on, Puppy. I need your help.

We sneak inside the house. The Puppy pausing to scratch at an ear while I catch my breath. This would be a lot easier if I just rode on the Puppy’s back.

Enough of that. Let’s keep going.

Almost there!

We check that the coast is clear and pull out the servings of cabbage and beans.  The very ones that I've been diabolically saving all this time.  The ones that smell and stink worse than socks coming off of stinky feet.

“Mmm ruff!” The Puppy complains after getting a whiff.

You said that your friends wouldn’t mind the smell.

With a roll of his eyes, the Puppy grabs a few servings while I grab the rest. We sneak back outside and deposit them into every dog’s individual bowl.

Okay, canines. Eat up!

“Wow, what has the dogs so hungry all of a sudden?” Mommy asks.

“Maybe someone dropped some treats in their bowls,” Daddy guesses.


“Oh, Marge. What did that puppy eat?” Mommy’s friend asks as a stink fumes through Mommy and Daddy’s backyard.  The Puppy giving me a smile and a wink.

Suddenly noses are squeezed in horror, cheeks puff as they try to keep food down. Some are already running away.


"What did that dog eat!?"


Tonight, every backyard will reek with doggy droppings tainted with cabbage and beans!


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