A New Year's poop and toot

 As Logged By:

Agent Rose


A poopy potty on new year’s day

makes Mommy gasp, then sway.

Daddy is quite proud

That I made a toot so loud.

It may have been the refried beans

Or, possibly, the sardines.

That’s the way to start the new year

With a poop the whole world can hear.



Mommy went all out for her New Year’s party.  Chips and dip, so delicious.  Bbq beef sliders, yum yum.  Sardine toasts, who doesn't love sardines?  Potato skins, so crunchy and fluffy.  And a big, big bowl of refried beans.

Oh, the refried beans!

I’m just a baby, a diabolical one at that.  I can’t help it when the food tastes that good.  I gobbled and gobbled and gobbled it down.

All before bed time.

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two… ONE!

My eyes pop open just as everyone cheers for a Happy New Year, but I’m not cheering.  I’ve got a number two gurgling in the bottom of my tummy that’ll give every exploding firework a run for their thunderous money!


I scream and cry at the top of my lungs.  Not from agony.  Not from pain.

I scream because I gotta get to my potty now and I need someone to hear me over that song about old acquaintances.  Stop singing about people you’ve forgotten.  Stop getting teary eyed and sipping champagne.

I gotta go!


Mommy hears my belting wail and comes running to my room.  “Don’t worry, Sweetie.  I’m here. What’s the matter?” She asks as she takes me in her arms.  “Were we too loud?  Did we wake you up?”

No!  You silly, silly Mommy.  I need to get this poopy out and maybe, just maybe, a bunch of toots, too!

I point down at my potty just as Daddy is coming in.  “Is everything okay?”

“She just needs to go potty.”

Just needs to go potty!?  I’m about to explode and you think I ‘just’ need to go potty?

Oomph!  Oh, I feel it coming.

Get me to the potty, NOW!

I don’t know how much longer I can hold it…


“Oh, my,” Mommy gasps and pinches her nose to keep the stink at bay.

Oh, wow!” Daddy laughs and proudly smiles at the loud toot his little girl just did.


Don't worry, Daddy.  There's a poop to match that toot waiting for you in my potty.

What was that?  Did something explode?” Someone pokes their head in to the door, followed by a few others.  All of them instantly crinkling their noses.

Here’s to a great New Year!



Upcoming Log:  Crazy plant lady Mommy

Previous Log:  A comfortable nap and a diabolical plan


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