Stink, stink everywhere

 As Logged By:

Agent Chase

Stink, stink everywhere!

Not a drop of fresh air.

It's in my mouth and in my hair.

A stink that's more than I can bear!

Mommy was supposed to get sprayed,

But, somehow, the target became me.

Now my nerves are frayed

And I'm as sick as can be.

Oh, the calamity!

The catastrophe!

A horrible monstrosity of abominable stenches is upon me!

To trip over my own two feet at the precise moment that I let my Stink Infested Dousing Gun 2000 rip.  The very same second that I pulled the trigger.  Oh, I hang my head in shame.


I wouldn't doubt it.

And who should be the victim of this cataclysmic disaster?  Not Mommy dearest, who has moved on from sanity cookies to the more delectable chocolate truffle.  No, no, no, no.  The intended victim of the Stink Infested Dousing Gun 2000 has been spared.

For the new victim is now me!

All thanks to this baby having two left feet.

Oh, make the smell go away.  Toots I can handle.  Rotten eggs I can bear.  Anything but rum cake and lemon.  Put the two together and my stomach is churning.  My skin is paling.

And there is nowhere to run.  Nowhere to hide.  Everywhere I go, the stench is right there.  It has clung to my clothes and stuck to the follicles of my hair.  Everything reeks of the vaporous rum cake and sour tanged lemon.

Watch out everyone!  Dinner is coming up!


"Oh, Chase!  You poor thing."  Mommy cradles me in her arms while Daddy pinches his nose.

"She puked on the rug," he dares to complain.

You're lucky I'm sick, Daddy, or you'd be victim number two!  Shall I mark you to be sprayed with my Stink Infested Dousing Gun 2000 (Heaven forbid I spray myself a second time) or just go ahead and puke again?  This time on you!

Here it comes...

"AHHHH!"  He yells when some left over dinner spews all over his new sweater.  "She puked on me!"

"Deal with it and clean it up."  Mommy lifts an eyebrow that dares Daddy to make one more complaint.

I definitely get my diabolical mastermind side from Mommy.

Upcoming Log:  The missing sippy cup

Previous Log:  It was Mommy


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