I've fallen for her cuteness

As Logged By:

Agent West


She spit a loogie in Molly's hair

And drank tea most diabolically.

She embraced my farting teddy bear

And caught a rainbow magically.


Her smile is the best.

No one can refuse this.

Yes, yes, yes.

I've grown accustomed to her cuteness.


Just stop it with the 'oohs' and 'ahs' before I slap you with Mommy's phone.  Or, worse, I'll find a loaded diaper to hurl at you.
The farting teddy bear gave my secret away, didn't it?  Don't lie to me.  I know it did.  How could I help it?  She's just so darn cute.  And quite beautifully diabolical, too!
Who else could make their father's shoe swim with the fishies?  Or trick their parents into doing her will simply by sleeping?
Yes, Agent Rose is the glisten in my spit bubble.  The rosebud in my poopy.
Now, for the dilemma:
Exactly how should this diabolical dude become the sparkle in her eye?  She's not just some ordinary baby.  She's a diabolical sweetie!  She's as cuddly as I am abominable.  As cute as I am adorable.  As diabolical as I am...  Well...  Diabolical.
Should I send her flowers that wilt when she talks?  What about an apple that tastes like chalk?
No, no, no.
She loves her apples way too much to do that.  She'd send a fart bomb my way for sure.  One whose stink wouldn't come off after only one bath.
Valentine's day is still over a month away.  I've got time.
Mark my words, though.  Whatever gift I come up with.
It's going to blow her cute mind.



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