Did you seriously just call me fat?

 As Logged By:

Agent Rose


Thanksgiving came and went

And I loved every bit of it

Until Cousin Molly started to vent

And made me want to spit.

Did I get her in the face 

Or spit a loogie on her plate?

If only I had my mace,

But that will have to wait.

Mmm...  Mmm...  Mmm...

Turkey, stuffing, and gravy.  Oh, my!  Next I'll have a slice of pie.

"Oh, look how cute Rose is holding her fork like that," one relative says.  "She's trying to devour it all in one bite!"  Says another.
Go ahead and adore me, just keep the Thanksgiving feast coming!
"Ugh!  Who cares about some baby acting cute,"  Cousin Molly complains.  With an eye roll, I might add!  I dare say that someone's a little jealous.  "She's just a little fatty eating a lot of food."
Excuse me!?
Sure, sure.  The verbal wraths and "how dare you's" are spewing right and left.  But Molly's shield is obviously up.  Those scorns are being absolutely deflected.  
Looks like I need to do something, something most diabolical, to teach Cousin Molly a lesson.
Without waiting or debating, I reach my hand into my mouth.  Out it comes with enough spit covering it to gross me out.  Completely.  This is so, so gross.

Just don't look at it.  Just don't look at it.
Before I can even think of getting sick (and losing all of that delicious turkey and stuffing), I fling my hand and throw the glob of spit straight at Dear Miss Molly.

"Eww, she hit me in the eye!"  Molly squeals.
Hehe,serves you right.  But this diabolical baby is nowhere near done.  Oh, no sirree!  No one calls this baby fat and gets away with it.  No way!

Up, onto the table I climb to do something most sublime.  A trick Agent West taught me, as long as I can stomach something so nasty.

In I snort and snort and snort.  With a loogie ready, I bring on a sneeze.


Mommy and Daddy gasp.  Molly screams.  The rest of the family stares aghast.  All because of my diabolical deed.

Oh, and by the way...

This little cutie's booty is sized just right, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!


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