Socking Daddy in the nose

 As Logged By:

Agent West

Daddy's sleeping on the floor

Right where I like to play.

Watching him is such a bore.

Ooh, an idea, if I may.

Should I swing my arm and

Bop him on his toes

Or should I smack him on the hand?

I know, I'll sock him on the nose.

I leave for one minute to make a farting teddy bear for Agent Rose and what do I come home to?

Daddy asleep on the floor and snoring as loud as a boar.  Apparently, I have been a little soft on him.  Apparently, he thinks he can get away with falling asleep right where I like to play.

I'm too diabolical to just go around him to get to my toys.  This is a golden opportunity.  A silver platter just waiting for my abominable touch.

Should I toot my heinie right in his face?  I've already done that to Mommy.  Should I fill his pockets with cream of wheat?  Perhaps another time.  Ooh, what if I saw the floor out from under him?  No, no, no.  I don't know how to use a saw yet.

What to do, what to do?  Wait a minute...

What is it Daddy's always bragging about?  How he socked that guy straight in the nose that one time?

Yes, yes!

I love it!  

I oh-so-sneakishly crawl my adorable heinie over next to Daddy, whose snores have gotten rather loud.  I raise my hand with a diabolical grin, but then I pause.

I'm wanting to sock Daddy not slap him.

How exactly does one sock a person?  A fist seems like the right answer, but my knuckles are still too soft for that.  I guess I'll have to find another way.  One that will suffice.

I can't use my heinie, it is much too padded.  I'm still learning how to lift my feet, so no hitting him with my heel.  Think!  What can I sock Daddy with?

A smack on my head gives me the answer.  My forehead should do the trick.  It is padded enough for me, yet hard enough to do some damage.  I line my head just right with his nose and pull it back.

Don't worry, Daddy.  This will definitely hurt you much more than it'll hurt me.
One, two, three...


My forehead collides square with Daddy's nose.  I fall back and rub at the red mark on my head.  Ow, that smarts.  But not as bad as Daddy's nose!

"AH!"  He screams.  "West broke my nose!"

Give it two days.  His nose will be covered in black and blue with bruises stretching across his cheeks.

Daddy's nose has been socked.  Mission painfully accomplished.

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