Slapping Mommmy With the Phone While on the Phone

As Logged By:

Agent West


It's payback time!

Oh, yes it is!  And

This Diabolical man has the perfect crime

Committed with phone in hand.


Do I look adorable holding your phone?

How about more like abominable!

Neighbor Patricia gossip?  What a groan!

Now I must act dishonorable.


Agent Chase has given the command!  Payback time toward the phone is at hand.  And speaking of hands, I have quite an idea.  If Mommy is so attached to that phone, why not use it as my diabolical weapon of attack?

 "I told Patricia not to go out with him," Mommy babbles into the phone, making me give an eye roll.

Honestly, is there nothing else to talk about than neighbor Patricia and her date nights?  Patricia this...  Patricia that...  Yakety, yak, yak, yak.  This little dude can't take too much more of that.  Thank goodness for Agent Chase's command.  Thank goodness for this payback.

Now, come closer Mommy.  Notice how I stare up at you so wide eyed.  I'm not hypnotizing you with my diabolically adorable side.  I'm not looking so irresistible just so that I can grab the phone out of your hand as soon as you come near.  Oh wait...


"West, stop that.  West, what are you doing?"  Mommy flails her arms about, but I am quicker and cling to the little phone with both hands.  Using the diabolical iron grip, I might add.  "Abigail, are you still there?  Can you still hear me?  West has stolen the phone."

A few more minutes of wrestling ensues, but Mommy finally gives up.  She has accepted that I'll let her keep talking on the phone as long as I can hold the phone.  A cute smile and funny giggle and I've sealed the deal.

Oh, Mommy.  You silly, silly spit bubble.  After all this time.  After all of my diabolical deeds, you still fall for the adorable act?  Haven't you learned by now that I'm abominable?"

And yet, I never grow tired of it!

"So, anyway.  She decided to wear the blue dress even though everyone told her to go with the red.  Then she finds out that he's taking her to the..."

Yes...  Yes...  Go back to talking, go back to gossiping.  Forget all about this diabolical dude holding onto your cell phone as I lift both arms up to Mommy's face.  With cell phone in hand, Mommy thinks she is safe to lean forward to hear gossipy Abigail better.

Smack!  The cell phone gives a little whack to her cheek.

"What the?  West, did you...?"

Smack!  Smack!

"Honey!  Help!"


"West is slapping me with the phone!"  Mommy tries to call to Daddy for help.  He comes running and sliding.  "Help me!"  But all Daddy can do is grab his sides and laugh like a fool.


I'm sure if it truly did hurt, if Mommy really wanted me to stop, then she'd stop leaning forward and trying to talk into the phone.  I can't keep smacking her if she is out of reach, but Mommy doesn't move.  She needs her quality gossip time.  Smack or no smack.  And I am free to do exactly what this diabolical baby must do.


Besides, I'm not really smacking her that hard.  Just enough to get payback with the phone while she's on the phone.


Upcoming Log: You Want to Wake me up at 3?  I'll Wake You up at 1!
Previous Log:  Training Mommy and Daddy with Poopy


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