Feeding Mommy diabolically

 As Logged By:

Agent Rose


Mommy's wearing her snack

And looking pretty funny.

I wonder if she'd want them back

After I feed her like a bunny.


Perhaps I will take one bite.

They can't be all that bad.

I'll chew with all my might,

But their flavor is just sad.



Has Mommy fallen ill? Is she trying on a new mask? What are those green things covering her eyes?

I shuffle over for a closer look. Those green and shiny disks look quite ridiculous. And they smell watery, too. Wait…

Is this some sort of trick?

Has Mommy devised a plan to capture this diabolical sweetie? Is she planning on taking me to the doctor for a checkup? Or back to Auntie P’s?

There’s only one way to find out.

Keeping as quietly as I can, I crawl my way closer to where Mommy is lying on the floor. I peek to the left, I peek to the right. All is apparently clear. I raise my arm and lean a little closer and…


“Rosie!” Mommy yelps, both green disks falling away from her face. “What are you doing?”

But I’m too busy staring down at one of the weird green things to answer. It landed less than a foot away from me. Is it a stink bomb in disguise? Have I fallen for some trap!?

“Rosie,” Mommy coos, “that’s a slice of cucumber.”

Cucumber? I cock my head.


“See, you can eat them.” She takes a bite to prove her point. “I’m putting them on my eyes to help them after last night.”

Ah, last night. When I kept Mommy awake until three a.m. with a noise maker made to sound like a toot and a poop going off every ten minutes.

Soooo, these green things are to eat? I’ll just see about that.

Daringly, I pick on up and fancy a smidgen of a bite. One bite, just one.

I crunch. I munch. I…


“No, they taste good. See.” Mommy takes another bite, but I’m not fooled.

I am, however, intrigued with a plan.

Picking up a slice of cucumber, I don a cutely, innocent smile and offer it to Mommy for another taste.

“Oh, thank you.” She munches.

Have another, Mommy. And another. And another.

Cheeks puffed out, Mommy struggling to chew. That’s when I decide that it’s not nice to be rude.

“Rose, what are you doing?” Mommy asks as I lurch for her mouth.

Why, isn’t it obvious. I’m going to put those chewed up bits back over your face. I’ve decided, you look better that way.

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